Friday, December 28, 2007

Jessica Simpson is a blockbuster movie actress.

When I heard this one I couldn't even believe that it was true. Simpson's latest movie, Blonde Ambition was going to go straight to DVD when some genius decided to put it in a few theaters for the weekend. It grossed...wait for it...$1,332.00. Yes, you heard that one but I'll repeat it in case your brain couldn't process the information. That's one thousand three hundred and thirty two dollars. That has to be some kind of record. I wonder how her next movie will do, keep your fingers crossed! I know she can do it!
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Another DUI...wow.

Rebecca De Moray (remember her?) was formally charged with two counts of DUI stemming from her October 30 arrest. She blew a .09 on the breathalyzer, ouch just .01 over the limit. I'm beginning to form the opinion that Hollywood is turning driving under the influence into some kind of new extreme sport. In any case, I'm seriously considering changing this blog to covering celebrity DUI's exclusively. I should have enough material to keep going indefinitely.
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Thursday, December 27, 2007

This is not Paris Hilton's day.

Barron Hilton the 80 year old patriarch of the Hilton family has announced that when he dies he's leaving 97% of his fortune to charity. Apparently this still leaves 130 million for the rest of the family to share but considering the way they go through cash that can't possibly last for very long and they have to pay taxes on it. I can't imagine that Paris is too happy about this but I'm not too worried, Paris always finds a way to bounce back.


...and Barron considers her an embarrassment to the family which probably didn't help when he was making his decisions.
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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Security firm or mercenary outfit you decide.

1Britney's got a new bodyguard and you won't believe who it is. None other that Aaron Cohen, the same guy from IMS Security that K-Fed used to hand out tons of sopena's a little while back. Gotta pay your bills might as well work for the highest bidder. I wonder what this guy charges? He used to be with the Moussad, Israel's billy baddass spy service. Which makes him trained in the art of ripping your arms off and beating you senseless with them.
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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Ike Turner has passed away.

Ike died in his home in California yesterday. I'm actually shocked since I had no idea that the dude was 76 years old. Ike Turner was a man who's image will forever be overshadowed by his reputation as a drug user and wife beater. While he never denied that he had used drugs he always denied that he had ever harmed his former wife Tina Turner. Whatever the truth may be I don't know I wasn't there. However, it must be said that Ike Turner was one of the pioneering founders of Rock and Roll and his contributions to that have been overlooked for many years. Whatever he did or did not do does not effect that.


Rest in Peace.
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Update: Now it's an anxiety attack.

Britney Spears' friend Sam Lufti tells PEOPLE in an e-mail: "She's sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It's too much."


Anxiety?!? Are you friggin kidding me??? We're talking about a woman who runs over people, blasts through stop signs and red lights and drives the wrong way on the street without a problem. Britney knows no fear! Anxiety over some questions being asked? Don't give me that crap!
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Britney didn't show for court...I know I'm shocked too.

1Britney didn't show up for her deposition at court today due to a "medical problem" (probably the caffeine and sugar again. I think this is the fifth time she blew it off. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that K-Fed's lawyer Mark David Kaplan is throwing a fit. The thing I don't get is how she gets away with defying a judge. Isn't that like, against the law or something? Maybe I just don't get it.
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Monday, December 10, 2007

Britney's stealing crap now.

Ok, not the biggest crime in the world as far as Britney's concerned but TMZ is reporting that Brit stole a $1.39 cigarette lighter from a gas station and a photog ended up paying for it. This chick makes $700,000 dollars a month for doing absolutely nothing. Am I alone in not getting it?
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