Disney ate another franchise...

I remember I once said to my grandmother that one day giant corporations were going to keep eating up one another until only one was left and my money was on Disney. The same guys who bought up Star Wars, The Muppets and Marvel just snacked on the Indiana Jones franchise. If what I saw was accurate Paramount studios sold the rights to any future movies which would help Disney crank them out. In exchange Paramount gets a cut of whatever they make. Disney hasn't announced any future films as of yet but let's face it. If they didn't have plans they wouldn't have done it. I don't know how much this went down for but I'm going to guess more than the GDP of most nations on this planet.

Ashley Dupre gets into Playboy.

Hugh Hefner must be going senile. Playboy used to have higher standards. The May issue of Playboy will feature Ashley Dupre (Elliot Spitzers hooker). I wonder how much the Whore of Babylon is getting for this one. Let's see first she gets a job writing an advice collumn and now a photo spread. She's raking it in. America, you have no shame.

Jon Gosselin wants his cash cow back.

After being off the radar for a while America's greatest dad is back! Jon, who imploded when TLC shut him down is now seeking sole custody of his children. He says that Kate is an absent mother and is spending all of her time on Dancing With The Stars and not with the children. He also wants child support reduced because he says that $20,000 a month is too high. To put the icing on the cake he is considering asking the judge to reverse the support all together as he feels that he should be paid by Kate.

Good luck with that one Jon. Let me know how it works out. I'm sure there is a 0% chance that you want the kids to get another reality show going. Nah, it's all done out of love.

Tiger likes to talk dirty.

Joslyn James, Tiger whore number whatever. Has released her text messages of raunchy crap that she exchanged between Tiger and herself. Tmz.com reports:

The site, sextingjoslynjames.com, includes texts that say:

- OK, I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust.
- I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you
- Have you ever had a golden shower done to you? ... just morbid curiosity.
- You are my f**king whore. Hold you down while I choke you

It's interesting ... Joslyn has omitted the messages she sent to Tiger, so we don't know what she said that may have egged him on.

And then there's this, on September 8, 2009: "Having a few issues at home. Might be a little later before I see you tonight." That text is followed by "parent hood melt down :)"

And the last message is dated October 4, 2009. It says, "Don't f**king talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, F**k."

For the record, Tiger references golfing in three different tournaments in the texts: The Buick Open, Bridgestone Invitational, and BMW Championship -- he won all three.

Personally I love the fact that every whore has some version of the same story "I'm the victim". Some say "I thought he loved me", or "I was just there for companionship. I'm not a prostitute" or "I feel sorry for his wife but I deserve an apology too!" and of course Joslyn's "It's time the truth came out about Tiger".

Ladies, (and I use the phrase in its loosest possible sense) let's not beat around the bush (sorry) lets call this like it is shall we? How about "I'm a whore and I want my 15 minutes of fame to milk as much interview money out of this as I can and I want to prove that I'm different than the other gazillion so that maybe I can get my own reality show or maybe a job at a newspaper like Elliot Spitzer's whore...but I'm not a whore".

Jon Gosselin's gravy train derailed.

In a shockingly non-Tiger story, TLC is not backing down and has effectively shut down Jon Gosselin's cash cow.  They don't like Jon violating his contract to make a crap load of money.  MSNBC.com reports:

A Maryland judge is ruling in the dispute between Jon Gosselin and the TLC network that the father must stop making media appearances that are at odds with his contract.


Montgomery County Circuit Judge Michael D. Mason ruled Thursday following a one-day hearing.

TLC Chief Operating Officer Edward Sabin testified that Gosselin made unauthorized appearances and endorsements. In particular, he mentioned a pool party that Gosselin hosted at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas. Sabin says photos from the event were at odds with the wholesome image of the show, "Jon & Kate Plus 8."

Although I think the phrase "wholesome" may be debatable, one has to think.  What will Jon do now to make money off of children...Hey!  Octomom!  Still available????

TLC made Kate Gosselin's kids cry.

Barbara Walters interviewed Kate Gosselin and it was very heartwarming. Kate says that the children have been crying since the cameras and crews left after the loss of the show. I suppose I can understand that they have been around forever. Maybe I'm a bit cynical but I think what she meant to say was that she and John have been crying now that the cash fountain has come to an end. Nice job with the self destruct job guys. I'm sure they'll be ok though. They may be divorced but they'll find another way exploit their kids. I have faith.

No cash for you Jon Gosselin!

I know it's going to ruin your Super Bowl but you won't be seeing Jon Gosselin in any commercials. I know I'm sad too, pass me a bud. Looks like Jon was getting lined up for not one but two commercial spots but got deep sixed by TLC. His attorney won't say exactly what TLC did to kill it but I'm willing to bet there was some heavy intimidation involved. Obiviously Jon is not happy. Too bad, so sad Jon. Now go do something useful like fade into obscurity. Heh,heh.

Ving Rhames is on the IRS list now.

Ok now the Controller is noticing a pattern. Now the IRS says that Ving Rhames is the latest celebrity to owe them back taxes. How much are they trying to squeeze out of him? Over 491 thousand dollars. I think I've figured out how the Obama administration is going to pay for its health care bill. By sucking it out of Hollywood. Well A-listers, you wanted him, you pushed for him, you created this god worship for him and you got him elected. Now he's in, turned on you and taking your cash. Remember when Mr. Socialist was talking about "sharing the wealth"? Bet you didn't think it applied to you. Suckers!

Tila Tequilia is out of her damn mind.

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I wish New Moon would have had stock options.

Opening weekend is almost over and the cash machine that is new moon continues to rake it in. Although is has not beaten Dark Knight or Spiderman 3, its made enough to buy a small country. So far this baby's made 140.7 million dollars. Not a bad investment for a movie that cost 30 million to make. Wish I could have gotten a piece of that sweet action.

Michael Phelps is on the IRS list.

Man these guys are going after everybody. The IRS says thar Phelps owes then over 20 thousand dollars in back taxes. Who the hell has been running the IRS all this time where only now they're finding out that nobody's been paying their taxes for the last several years??? A better question is why didn't Phelps just write them a damn check? With all of his endorsements this guy is worth 50 friggin million dollars! How much pot has he been doing?!?

Today in WTF?

Good morning! The first story of the day is a baffling one. TMZ is reporting that Rod Stewart is being sued by the law firm that has been representing him for the past 20 years for back legal fees the amount they want is in excess of three million three hundred thousand dollars. This leaves the rather obivious question: Who the hell would represent someone for so long and allow a bill to run that high!?! Something's fishy here. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

Ok, so it looks like Zsa Zsa isn't the only one with an IRS problem.

Former Backstreet Boy Aaron Carter's got some problems with the government only much...MUCH worse.  He owes them over a million frakking dollars!!!  IRS, you can have this one..."baby, bye, bye, bye!!!)

...oh, and he got kicked off of dancing with the stars too.

Pictures of Jolie children worth more than your life.

Man, I didn't know that having a uterus could be so profitable. Now we all know that stars selling their babies pictures is big money these days but it looks like the Jolie kids could break all previous records. The pics of her first kid Shiloh went for a cool 4 million dollars but pics for the twins could fetch an estimated 15 - 20 million. People, that's fucking crazy. They say that the money is going to go to charity and that's all well and good but 15 - 20 million for having a c-section??? Are you people fucking nuts?!?

...so needless to say they already found a buyer. Unbelievable.

It's The Contoller's boatload of human depravity!

This story keeps getting better and better. Michael Lohan is trying to make some bucks off of this kid too. TMZ reports:

Michael Lohan should be named father of the freakin' century. Now Daddy Trainwreck wants to cash in on his might-be illegitimate daughter, whether he's the daddy or not. We're hearing MiLo tried to seal the deal with at least two celeb weeklies over the results of his paternity: He's asking $10K for the story if he's not the dad -- and $20K if he is the dad. That's because he's also talking about selling the pictures of the first meeting between Lindsay and her new half-sister. People and OK! have politely declined his effed up offer.

And I thought this dude couldn't sink any lower. Yeah, this kid's not going to grow up messed up beyond all belief or anything. Guaranteed.

Candy Spelling makes me want to vomit.

Just what she needed MORE CASH! TMZ reports:

TMZ Vegas spies tell us over the weekend, Candy Dandy was playing the high limit slots (up to $1,000 a pull) at the Bellagio Hotel when she cleaned the clock of a one-armed bandit to the tune of $180,000. To put this in perspective, $180 grand to her is like $8 bucks in our world.So you think lightning only strikes once? Exactly one year ago in Vegas, Candy -- whose fortune is estimated at $600 mil -- won $200,000 at -- yes, the Bellagio. And yes, on the slots. She was actually up $350,000 at one point but couldn't walk away.

Why G-d WHY????

I want to party with K-Fed!

Here's a guy the pleaded poverty in the courts and got Britney to pay for his lawyers fees. Turns out he's not so poor after all. If you look at his credit card bill you can clearly see that the man likes his fast food and liquor. Let's see what we've got here, Ralph's grocery store, Toys 'R Us, Babies 'R Us, Encino Park Liquor, Garrett Popcorn Shop, Blockbuster Video, Ikea, Smart & Final, Onstar Service Plan, Big Fish Games, Target, Boston Market, Big 5 Sporting Goods, Party House Liquor, Waste Management, Quiznos, The Spirit Shoppe, Roundtable Pizza, Honey Baked Ham, Burger King, Foot Locker, The Liquor Works, PF Chang's, Victoria's Secret, Privilege, Ann Taylor, Wendy's, Chili's, NikeTown, In N' Out Burger and Corbin Liquor.

Good God man! You got to get some self control dude. Although I'll let the Boston Market slide. They have kick ass mashed potatoes and gravy!