Lindsay Lohan must have some kind of diplomatic immunity...or the LAPD are really stupid.

Man I don't believe this one. This woman must have somebody high up looking out for her. Not even baring in mind that I don't understand how she hasn't overdosed yet she had blow on her during her 2007 DUI arrest. Shocking, I know. TMZ reports:

Pretty incredible, but according to the Santa Monica Police report -- obtained by TMZ -- the officer "discovered a folded Clinique sun care card with an unknown substance caked on to the surface of the card in Lohan's right rear pocket."

The report goes on: "Some of the white substance fell to the floor. I used my foot to see what had fell but thought nothing of it. I did not recognize the substance attached to the card and initially thought the substance was a wet crushed breath mint."

And now it gets good: "I put the card into the jail trash can next to the booking windows. I was looking at the floor and began to recognize the substance as resembling powder cocaine. I then recovered the card from the trash."

The cop says the coke was in the trash for about 2 minutes. He put the card in an evidence envelope, then scooped up the coke that had fallen to the floor and placed it in a separate evidence envelope.

In short -- EVIDENCE CONTAMINATION!!!

Wow. a breath mint???? You've GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! How the hell do you make that mistake SMPD????? Lindsay Lohan + white power = DO THE MATH MAN!!! I said it before and I'll say it again. You can't get arrested in California. They should just disband the police then maybe balance the damn state budget. God.

Lindsay Lohan is writing a book??? This has got to be a sign of that 2012 end of the world sh*t.

Yes, I know that your higher brain functions rejected that statement as to mind blowing to be correct but Lindsay told OK! magazine UK edition:

Lindsay says time in rehab helped her to gain control of her life – and she’s now penning a book about her experiences.

She told us: “I write a lot and it’s very therapeutic for me because then I can see what’s happening on paper. I’ve started writing a book. It’s going to take a while, all my life experiences. I started writing it a year ago. There’s a lot to put down, you know?”

...holy...crap. This book should be interesting but I'd like to help with the title. I have a few suggestions:

1. My Life With Blow.
2. I Love Blow.
3. Where to Score Top Quality Blow.
4. Oral Sex: A Primer.
5. Rehab is a F*cking Joke.
6. How to be as Easy as AB3.
7. My Normal Well Adjusted Life.

That's just off the top of my head. You're welcome.

Lindsay Lohan is going to steal your shit!

Lindsay's out to grab your stuff again (what the frak is wrong with this clepto???  Seriously, who the hell keeps inviting her things!?!)  this time she struck at  last Thursday’s launch of Jermaine Dupri’s new watch line “NuPop” at Kitson in West Hollywood.  Ok, here's the skinny, she's paid to be there and told that she can have $500 bucks worth of free stuff.  First mistake in my book.  That's like opening up a flood gate you can't close.  She managed to get them up to $1,000.  However (I knew you saw this one coming), she proceeded to grab $15,000 dollars worth of stuff before anyone managed to stop her.  When told that she went a little over she responded that Pascal (jewelry designer Pascal Mouawad) would handle it because she was the only celebrity there.  Pascal, not being an idiot said "no" so of course being the mature young lady she is she went into her usual insanity mode.  Lindsy no likey when she no getty. 

Personally I would have slapped the bitch and thrown her out but they finally agreed to let her have $2,000 worth of stuff.  Even with that she still tried to con a Kitson employee who was helping her by insisting that she knew that it was ok if she took everything that was left at the boutique.  In exchange she would come back for the bags the next so the paps could take photos of it....great deal.

It didn't even end there!  One of her friends got involved and said that it was the least Kitson could do for such a loyal customer!  Ok, so let's make sure I've got this straight.  The shoplifter is a loyal customer...that's never going to stand up in court.

This better be a sick joke.

Lohan is converting to Judaism because that's the religion of her "girlfriend" Samantha. I'm going to make my position 100% clear on this one. Lindsay! You are NOT a lesbian, you are NOT a Jew and you are NOT revitalizing your career with this shit! We're getting tired of it!