Lindsay Lohan is writing a book??? This has got to be a sign of that 2012 end of the world sh*t.

Yes, I know that your higher brain functions rejected that statement as to mind blowing to be correct but Lindsay told OK! magazine UK edition:

Lindsay says time in rehab helped her to gain control of her life – and she’s now penning a book about her experiences.

She told us: “I write a lot and it’s very therapeutic for me because then I can see what’s happening on paper. I’ve started writing a book. It’s going to take a while, all my life experiences. I started writing it a year ago. There’s a lot to put down, you know?”

...holy...crap. This book should be interesting but I'd like to help with the title. I have a few suggestions:

1. My Life With Blow.
2. I Love Blow.
3. Where to Score Top Quality Blow.
4. Oral Sex: A Primer.
5. Rehab is a F*cking Joke.
6. How to be as Easy as AB3.
7. My Normal Well Adjusted Life.

That's just off the top of my head. You're welcome.

Me thinks Star Magazine might be full of sh*t.

This little Tiger bandwagon might be getting out of control because now it looks like people are just making sh*t up.  Looks like any woman who has been photographed with Tiger is now fair game.  Case in point Star Magazine has a pic of Tiger with Jessica Simpson so now they've got a whole story on their seedy affair (yeah right).  Star writes:

Just days before Jessica's split with Tony Romo, she had a sizzling meeting with the fallen golf star at the AT&T National Pro-Am golf tournament in Bethesda, Md.


"Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it," a source tells Star.

Since Jess had been fighting with Tony — who was Tiger's golf partner at the July tournament — she gave as good as she got.

“Jessica said that she felt like Tony wasn’t paying attention to her, so she was like, ‘What the heck!’ ” says the source. “She decided to have fun with Tiger whether it bothered Tony or not.”

Their words in the italics!  Not mine!    "He saw what he liked and let her know it?" "Gave as good as she got?" "What the heck"!?!  Jesus, it sounds like it was written by a horny 13 year old.   Hey Star Magazine!  Try hiring some writers who are PAST puberty!!!

Remember kids, if you want to read the rest of the article you have to buy a copy of Star Magazine they won't tell you on their website.  Alternatively, you could just read it in the supermarket checkout and keep your money.  Whatever's good for you.

Tiger mistress Jaimee Grubbs has incredible logic too!!!

Jamiee (mistress # I lost count) Grubbs also feels sorry for Tiger's wife.  Your sympathies have been duly noted.  Why doesn't everyone just sign a f'ing card!  However she also says:

"If it wasn't me, it was going to be other girls. I did care about him -- I didn't do it for superficial reasons. I didn't do it to purposely hurt her."


Let's break that one down a bit.  Let's see, if it wasn't you it was going to be someone else so what the hell!  Man, Jaimee you should be a goodwill ambassador for the f*cking U.N.! 
 
You didn't do it for superficial reasons, ok I actually believe that one.  However, "you didn't do it to hurt her".  I can't even dignify that one with a response.  Yes I can.  You're disgusting Jaimee.

More Rachel Uchitel outrage. I can see I'm going to have fun with this one.

Rachel's got her lawyer after "The View" because Joy Behar cracked a joke at her expense calling her a hooker.  Wow.  Rachel is hurt (she's hurt???).  Rachel says that she is not a hooker and that the comment was hurtful and offensive and she values her reputation and that reputation has been damaged.  She wants a retraction.

Ok, time for a reality check.

A.  Rachel, you don't sleep with men for money (that we know of yet) so I guess hooker is not an accurate assessment.  Hmmm, what do you call someone who sleeps with married men but not for money?  At best, homewrecker, at worst slut....happy now?

B.  What reputation???  See A.