Friday, April 4, 2008

Naomi Campbell goes friggin nuts again

I know, I'm just as shocked as you are. She went totally ape shit at Heathrow Airport when they told her that they lost her luggage. They actually had to call in the cops. Want to guess what happened when the cops said that she had to get off the plane because she wasn't fit to fly? That's right she went bat-shit insane and attacked he cop. So they did the logical thing and hauled her ass into the station.


Naomi, you have a serious anger management problem. Somebody hook this bitch up to Ritalin IV drip stat!

I want to party with K-Fed!

Here's a guy the pleaded poverty in the courts and got Britney to pay for his lawyers fees. Turns out he's not so poor after all. If you look at his credit card bill you can clearly see that the man likes his fast food and liquor. Let's see what we've got here, Ralph's grocery store, Toys 'R Us, Babies 'R Us, Encino Park Liquor, Garrett Popcorn Shop, Blockbuster Video, Ikea, Smart & Final, Onstar Service Plan, Big Fish Games, Target, Boston Market, Big 5 Sporting Goods, Party House Liquor, Waste Management, Quiznos, The Spirit Shoppe, Roundtable Pizza, Honey Baked Ham, Burger King, Foot Locker, The Liquor Works, PF Chang's, Victoria's Secret, Privilege, Ann Taylor, Wendy's, Chili's, NikeTown, In N' Out Burger and Corbin Liquor.

Good God man! You got to get some self control dude. Although I'll let the Boston Market slide. They have kick ass mashed potatoes and gravy!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Raffaelo Follieri needs to get a job.

Anne Hathaway's Italian stallion was just arrested by NYPD for allegedly bouncing a real big check his ass couldn't cover.Police tell us Zac Braff-alike Raffaelo Follieri was popped for one misdemeanor count of issuing a bad check -- he's still in police custody, being booked. A source tells TMZ that the check was written for around $250,000, and when the bank said insufficient funds, it wasn't even close.That's hardly the end of the bad news for Follieri. A DC court just ordered him to pay almost $250,000 to a PR firm that he still owes for work they did.

Nice job Raffaelo, very smooth. Jane, I would strongly suggest that you consider a better choice in boyfriends. A blogger's a good choice...just throwing it out there.

Health Ledger is not the daddy.

Looks like Heath's uncle was shooting off his mouth an firing blanks again. The woman he said has Heath Ledger's love child is denying it and she's more than willing to back up her claim with a DNA test. TMZ reports:


Heath Ledger's uncle says the late actor has a love child, but the woman with whom Heath had the alleged child says no way – and is willing to back it up with a DNA test.The woman, unidentified to protect her daughter, tells the Daily Mail that "there's no proof, there's no nothing" to suggest that Heath is the dad. "The simple thing is we will do a DNA test," says the little girl's step-dad, who adds that the family has "nothing to hide." Heath's estranged uncle had blabbed to the Aussie press about Heath's having a love child when he was 17.


Between causing problems with Heath's estate and this it's beginning to look a hell of a lot like Heath Ledger's uncle is a grade A fuck.

Seinfield almost gets his dumb ass killed.

Not that it would be a huge loss to the world but Seinfeld almost smeared himself over a large part of the landscape when his breaks failed. NY Post reports:


"He was a little shocked when he walked in and it started to dawn on him what happened," she said. "I was extremely relieved and grateful and I'm feeling very lucky that nothing happened."
"It could have been a lot worse, obviously, and thank God it wasn't. He's fine," she said.
The dramatic accident occurred at 7:40 p.m. Saturday on Skimhampton Road in East Hampton, said East Hampton Police Chief Todd Sarris.


Seinfeld was alone in the vehicle, driving north toward Montauk Highway.
"The brakes went bad," Sarris said. But Jerry kept his head.


"He had to pull the emergency brake," which Sarris said still failed to halt the two-door vehicle as it headed into traffic on the highway.


Seinfeld then cut the wheel to the right and "the car rolled over" and stopped yards from the intersection - just short of other vehicles.


The 1967 Fiat BTM rolled onto the passenger side, then the roof, and finally came to rest on the driver's side.


"His actions probably avoided a very serious accident," Sarris said. "I think he was a little shaken up, with justification."


Police rushed to the scene, but the comic did not require medical attention.
The accident was chalked up to mechanical failure. Seinfeld had not been drinking and no summonses were issued, Sarris said.
Better luck next time but could someone out there PLEASE tell me that I'm not the only one who never found this guy funny? God, he's so fucking irritating.

Heidi Montag destroys John McCain.

In a new section of this blog I like to call "crap nobody cars about" Heidi Montag has announced that she endorses John McCain. Unfortunately for McCain having an airhead with a plastic chest will undoubtedly knock him down about 50 points in the poles.

You're not helping here Heidi.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant an engaged.

It's must be stupid decision day here in the control room. Looks like everyone's favorite teenager carrying a bastard child wants to make it legit. She hasn't said anything but Jamie Lynn has been walking around bajou country wearing an engagement ring. Guess someone pulled a gun on her boyfriend. Ok Magazine reports:

the wedding will take place at Serenity, the estate of big sister Britney Spears, who will likely be a bridesmaid. Jamie Lynn won’t be rushing to the altar in the typical sense, however. The magazine’s source reports that she’ll wait to get back into shape before swapping “I do’s.” “I expect she’ll want to wait at least several months to get her figure back so she can wear a beautiful wedding gown and then have her dream wedding.”


Dream wedding??? You're 16 and you're an idiot! However I wish her all the best. She's setting a fine example to the kids out there namely: get knocked up, get a G.E.D. (Good Enough Diploma) and life is great! Ten bucks says she's got another three by the time she's twenty five. Oh and by the way, there's an unconfirmed rumor going around that she's expecting a girl. Just what the world needed another Spears woman. This legend will go on forever.

Slim down with Britney!

I know this may be the most insane thing I've ever said but I think there may be a very real possibility that Britney is trying to un-fuck herself. First her guest shot on TV, then rehiring her old manager, now she seems to want to stop being a fat ass. Ok Magazine reports:


"It looked like Britney had lost 15 pounds in four weeks," a source close to the singer tells OK!. And sure enough — gone was the bloat, the ratty hair and the puffy face. In their place, a slimmer, fresh-faced girl with a smile on her face and determination in her step. So how did she do it? "Britney's a pro at losing weight fast," a Spears pal tells OK!. "She can drop seven to 10 pounds in two weeks." Although now, in Britney's case, it's about adopting a longterm plan she can stick to. Sources say Brit has given up her old unhealthy weight loss habits, like popping laxatives and diet pills.The 5-foot-4 singer has also replaced soda and fast food with five, small protein-packed meals a day. Doing so has enabled her to peel off the pounds. "Eating five meals a day will boost your metabolism," Dr. David Katzin of Fresh Diet, a meal delivery program tells OK!. "In fact, by eating superclean, Zone balanced foods at each of your five meals, you will find that your metabolism goes into overdrive, becoming extremely efficient at burning calories."And get this — Brit's even cut back on her Starbucks Frappachino fixes! "Britney used to come in every day. Now she just comes in from time to time and orders a lighter version," a barista at a Malibu Starbucks tells OK!.


To complement her healthier eating habits, Britney works out regularly as well, although you probably won't see her jogging around her neighborhood. The recovering pop star enjoys daily dance workouts at L.A.'s Millennium Dance Complex, where sources tell OK! she does squats along with chair and pole dancing. When she does run, it's on a treadmill at home, away from the spying eyes of the paparazzi."I don't like to work out because my legs get bulky," Brit has said. "Dancing makes me leaner."


Do I dare to think that Britney may want to live to see 2009??? I'm reserving judgement on this one but I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt on this one.


Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Larry Rudolph is back.

Take a look at this piece of work over here. I know he looks like some sort of derelict but in actuality he's Larry Rudolph. Larry's claim to fame is that he was the guy who discovered Britney all those years ago and turned her into a megastar. However, Britney got rid of him a year ago for suggesting that rehab might do her some good. Well he's back now! Britney wants to get her career back and what better man for the job than the one that made her who she is. (interpret that any way you want.

I'd say the dude definitely has his work cut out for him but if anyone can do it it's Larry. I'm going to keep an eye on this one.

Britney gets a job offer!

Britney's old buddies the dudes from PETA have offered her a job. The highly prestigious position of secretary in one of their offices. Salary to be $1,000 to be donated to the charity of her choice. Considering the way her music career has been going I'd say jump on this one while you can! It'll be ok, Cheetos don't count as a meat product.<

Monday, March 31, 2008

Holy crap! Heath Ledger might have an second kid!

Wow, check this out. Looks like Heath might have been a little active than I thought his uncle told the Daily Telegraph:

Ledger was a 17-year-old schoolboy when he had an affair with an older woman who is thought to have only discovered she was pregnant after their relationship ended. The woman was living with another man at the time of the alleged affair.Yesterday, Ledger's uncle, Hadyn Ledger said: "There is a very real possibility that Heath was the father."

As is there weren't enough lawyers and bickering going around. This is like throwing gasoline onto an open fire.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Hulk Hogan promotes alcoholism...brilliant!

Hulk Hogan was at Mardi Gras yesterday where he was given the title "King of Bacchus", you know the Greek god of wine and getting blasted. As we can clearly see from the kid with brain damage he set a fine example for his son. Clearly father of the year material.

Let the games begin!

Britney's lawyers are headed to court today because Britney does not want her father to be conservator of her estate. I'm actually stunned Jamie Spears is a very warm loving father and there's absolutely no way he would be in it just to grab his daughters money. Honest.


(Mr. Hollywood is easily bribed.)

Friday, February 1, 2008

Wesley Snipes: 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

It just came in over the wire. Wesley Snipes has been convicted of failing to file tax return but he managed to be aquitted of the more serious fraud and conspiracy charges. So now instead of facing 12 years he's facing 3. I'm pretty optimistic that he can get that smacked down to community service or something.

Calvin Klein picks a winner!

Calvin Klein has picked their spokeswoman for 2008...Eva Mendez! I know she's a little strung out in rehab right now but it's nice to know when she gets out she's got a good steady gig at Calvin Klein. As they put it Eva Mendez "embodies the sexy, provocative essence of the Calvin Klein brand and we are thrilled that she will be the newest iconic beauty to represent Calvin Klein Fragrances."


I'm glad she got the job because I wouldn't want to see her gunned down by the police because she was beating up an old lady to she could get her social security check so she can get some more smack.


Courtney Love knows how to keep Britney sober.

Courtney Love in an interview with Access Hollywood says that if Britney doesn't get help "something very very bad is going to happen" no shit Courtney. Back in 2004 Courtney was handcuffed to a gurney and hauled off to cuckooville, I mean a "treatment center" anyway, she gives credit for her sobriety (you can't make this shit up people) to Orlando Bloom who taught her Bhuddist chanting. They chant every day. It keeps her sane. Anyone who walks around with a haircut that bold and you can see how sane they are!

Eva Mendez is in rehab.

I should just save myself some time on these posts and change the name of this blog to "Everyone in Hollywood is now in rehab...and Britney Spears did some crazy shit".


So Eva is in rehab but not to worry folks! She's at Cirque Lodge, near Sundance. This is one of the most respected rehab centers in the country and they've treated many stars like Lindsay Lohan so Eva's in good hands....wait a sec.

Ice-T hosts a tupperware party.

WTF???????

Ok, look. I know he did it for charity but for God's sake, isn't this the same guy who sang "Cop Killer"???? and come to think of it what the fuck kind of charity raises money with a fucking tupperware party!?!
(see the clip at TMZ.com and yes it's as stupid as you think it is.)

Angelina Jolie is trying to take over the world.

I always knew that stuck up, self righteous bitch was up to something! Ok Magazine reports:

OK! has learned that Angelina is indeed expecting baby no. 2 with boyfriend Brad Pitt (WHY???) and that the actress is over the moon (should be shot into the moon) about bringing another child into the world."Angie has wanted a second biological baby for some time now," (but you don't love the first one so WTF???) a friend of the star tells OK!. "And the minute she's pregnant, she just glows. (fucking radioactive bitch) She's the type that doesn't want to scream it to everyone, (only scream if someone's stabbing you so I know to watch) but she has the quiet, expectant mother glow. Her smile says she's the luckiest woman in the world." (lucky no one's shot her)

So if I do my math right this would be child #5. Am I the only one that can see what's going on here!?! She is slowly raising a huge army of bastards to kill us all! She MUST be stopped!

It was in the book of Revelations people!!!

Leslie Stahal gets her ass ripped off.

Ok, look people I was desperate to find something...ANYTHING that was not Britney related and this was the best I could come up with. A dude posing as a construction worker got access to Stahl's apartment and grabbed a shit load of her jewelry and electronic equipment. She must have had some good stuff because the grand total of the stuff taken was worth about $100,000. Damn, nothing's too good for Leslie.


...they took her laptop too.
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