Oprah's calling it quits.

In a move the gives me hope for the world Oprah has announced to her staff that she will be ending her show in September of 2011. After a 25 year run it's about friggin time. I look forward to a time where I can turn on the TV and not see her self righteous puss telling America what to think, read, and just about every thing else. God I'm sick at the sight of her. Now go away and continue your 30 year love affair with ham. It must be Friday, I'm feeling good now!

Nicolas Cage is an idiot.

Nicolas Cage may be a great actor but he seriously needs to get his head adjusted. Here's something I didn't know, he's a good will ambassador for the United Nation for drugs and crime. Interesting choice but I digress. Nick traveled to Kenya today to visit Shimo La Tewa prison in the costal town of Mombosa. He wanted to meet with Somali pirates imprisoned there and "get to know their stories so he could understand them better". Nick, what the hell is wrong with you? Here's what you need to understand. They're a bunch of drugged out AK-47 weilding murderers who should have not been taken alive. If you were on a merchant vessel and these guys were on board I'd like to see how far your "talking it out" gets you. Not far Nick, not far. By the way while you're over there rapping with your hijack happy new buddies you should be aware that the Feds are cleaning out all your stuff from your houses. Just a little FYI...dolt.

Martha Stewart goes after Rachael Ray

Martha Stewart was interviewed by Dateline which will air tonight and she took a swipe at Rachael Ray.  We all saw this one coming.  She says:

"Well, to me, she professed that she could—cannot bake," the ice queen begins. "She just did a new cookbook, which is just a reedit of a lot of her old recipes. And that's not good enough for me.


"Rachael is different," Stewart goes on. "She is more of an entertainer…with her bubbly personality, than she is teacher, like me. That's not what she's professing to be."

English translation:  No talent HACK.  About time somebody said something about Ray.  It didn't take long for me to realize that this idiot couldn't boil an egg without instructions and her personality is by far the most irritating that I have ever seen in my life.  I could write volumes on how much I hate her guts.  Take her down Martha!  Take her down!

John Kerry's daughter gets popped for DUI.

Alexandra Kerry got busted by the cops last night for DUI.  She was released after paying $5,000 bail money.  Looks like she blew a .06 and the limit is .08 so it's up in the air as to whether or not the case will be persued.  Kerry is a producer and has had small acting roles thus proving what I've been saying for years.  You are NOBODY in Los Angeles until you've been arrested for DUI.  It is a Hollywood law that is set in stone, don't fight it.

Robert Pattinson is the devil.

Robert Pattinson has proved that he is the spawn of Satan and truly has the power to control minds and bodies...man, I wish I was him.  Here's what he had to say about his powers over the fans:

"It was after a period of signing 500 signatures, and one of [the fans] just came up. You kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything, and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?' And [the fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like, 'Um, just take your clothes off.' And she stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible."


....Robert....these are the problems you want to have.

Now the IRS is after Joe Francis, this is getting out of control.

The IRS's reign of terror continues, now they're after Joe Francis.  The feds are claiming that Joe owes them three years worth of back taxes to the total of  $33,819,087.14!   Joe says it's a crock of crap because he sees it as retaliation for the tax lawsuit he just won and now they're using an obscure 20 year old law to try to even the score.  Personally, I'm inclined to believe Joe for two reasons.  First, this is the bloody IRS we're talking about.  They'd shoot their own grandmothers to get her social security check and let's face it, they're having a bit of a field day right now.  Second, every time someone slaps Joe Francis with a lawsuit he always gets out of it because they're always BS and Joe is not stupid.  Unfortunately,  I don't think Joe is going to get out of this one.  The IRS is hammering him so badly that he's said that tomorrow he will declare personal bankruptcy.  Good luck Joe.

What the hell is going on??? Faye Dunaway is broke too???

Ok, I don't care what they're saying on the news about the economy getting better because it's total BS. Faye Dunaway's landlord has got a lawyer and he's filing the necessaery papers to have her evicted from her NYC home. He says that she owes him over a thousand dollars in back rent. This is getting WAY out of control. I'm pulling for you Faye!

Shauna Sand is advising Carrie Prejean to sell the sex tape.

Shauna Sand sent a letter to Carrie Prejean advising her to sell the sex tape of her engaged in auto-erotic action.  She told TMZ:

I told Steven that I wanted to eliminate any compensation to the third party since it was my movie that I not only starred in, but also directed and added the music to. I also told him that I wanted to be involved in the marketing of the movie as I really cared about it.



I'm really glad I made that decision. I'm proud of my body and of the passion that I felt during the making of the movie which became "Shauna Sand Exposed."


Why don't you consider taking control yourself and handle this situation on your own terms so that you are in the driver's seat. It all starts with a telephone call to Steven to find out what your options are. I'd be happy to talk to you one-on-one about how I did it.

Carrie should be grateful I mean really, who better to get sex tape advice from but the Queen of Self Porn!...hang on a sec, did she say that she directed and added music to it???

Nice going America...you pissed off Clint Eastwood.

Clint Eastwood was interviewed by CQ magazine and Clint, never a man to mince words got straight to the point about what he thought was wrong with the country.

"[The U.S. is] becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits,”  "It's just ... everybody's so screwed up. It seems like our country's in kind of a morbid mood, because of the recession or whatever."

I think morbid is putting it mildly Clint, but I for one totally agree with you.  Clint tells it like it is.  Then again, it's not like I'm helping the problem over here is it?

Today in WTF?

Good morning! The first story of the day is a baffling one. TMZ is reporting that Rod Stewart is being sued by the law firm that has been representing him for the past 20 years for back legal fees the amount they want is in excess of three million three hundred thousand dollars. This leaves the rather obivious question: Who the hell would represent someone for so long and allow a bill to run that high!?! Something's fishy here. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

Lindsay Lohan is going to steal your shit!

Lindsay's out to grab your stuff again (what the frak is wrong with this clepto???  Seriously, who the hell keeps inviting her things!?!)  this time she struck at  last Thursday’s launch of Jermaine Dupri’s new watch line “NuPop” at Kitson in West Hollywood.  Ok, here's the skinny, she's paid to be there and told that she can have $500 bucks worth of free stuff.  First mistake in my book.  That's like opening up a flood gate you can't close.  She managed to get them up to $1,000.  However (I knew you saw this one coming), she proceeded to grab $15,000 dollars worth of stuff before anyone managed to stop her.  When told that she went a little over she responded that Pascal (jewelry designer Pascal Mouawad) would handle it because she was the only celebrity there.  Pascal, not being an idiot said "no" so of course being the mature young lady she is she went into her usual insanity mode.  Lindsy no likey when she no getty. 

Personally I would have slapped the bitch and thrown her out but they finally agreed to let her have $2,000 worth of stuff.  Even with that she still tried to con a Kitson employee who was helping her by insisting that she knew that it was ok if she took everything that was left at the boutique.  In exchange she would come back for the bags the next so the paps could take photos of it....great deal.

It didn't even end there!  One of her friends got involved and said that it was the least Kitson could do for such a loyal customer!  Ok, so let's make sure I've got this straight.  The shoplifter is a loyal customer...that's never going to stand up in court.

New Moon Party last night.

The stars of the new movie New Moon were on the red carpet last night in Los Angeles.  As you would expect it was NUTS with fans all over the place.  The stars were a bit overwhelmed.  Robert Pattinson commented that with all the fans he needs a disguise to go out.  Kristen Stewart commented on the energy of the fans and that it was a once in a lifetime experience.  It was a total media festival with mostly female fans desperately trying to get close to their fans.  The movie comes out on Friday November 20th.  One of these days I'm going to have to rent the first one to find out what the hell all of this hype is about.  Haven't seen anything this bad since Harry Potter came out.

Ken Ober dies.

Ken Ober the former host of the 1987 MTV show "Remote Control" passed away over the weekend of unknown causes he was 52.  He had beens complaining of flu symptoms.  Interpret that any way you want.

MTV, if you're reading this I've got one thing to say to you....YOU FRAKKING BASTARDS!!!  You started with Remote Control and you just wouldn't stop until you took the M out of MTV!  Now your once rockin station has been reduced to a graveyard for reality show rejects...I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED!!!

(Sorry, had to get that one off my chest.  It's been building up for about 20 years or so.)

Extortionist douchebag turns himself into police.

Edis Kayalar is a German douchebag who tried to extort Cindy Crawford and her family to the tune of 100K.  Kayalar got his hands on an old photograph of Crawford's daughter (who was 7 at the time) tied and gagged to a chair.  The nanny says it was part of a cops and robbers game.  It's one of those photos that could be misinterpreted and blown WAY out of proportion.  Cindy decided not to play ball and called the cops (always a prudent move).   Feeling the heet Kayalar turned himself in to the police in Stuttgart late yesterday.  Did he really think he was going to get away with that one???...I guess he did....stupid.

Ok, so it looks like Zsa Zsa isn't the only one with an IRS problem.

Former Backstreet Boy Aaron Carter's got some problems with the government only much...MUCH worse.  He owes them over a million frakking dollars!!!  IRS, you can have this one..."baby, bye, bye, bye!!!)

...oh, and he got kicked off of dancing with the stars too.

Zsa Zsa's got problems with the IRS.

Zsa Zsa Gabor (who is an astonishing 92 years old) has a few problems with the IRS.  It seems that Kevin Bacon wasn't the only celebrity who got taken by Bernard Madoff, Zsa Zsa and her husband were too.  And by were, I mean to the tune os 7 million dollars....wow.  If that wasn't bad enough, now the IRS says that she owes them over 118K.  The Gabor's are working out a payment plan with them as we speak.  I'm all for paying your taxes but isn't going after a 92 year old woman who has just lost a significant chunk of her fortune seem a little heavy handed to you? ...and they say the economy is getting better, yeah right.

Janey Jackson points the finger.

Janet Jackson has gone on the record to blame the man she sees as responsible for her brothers death, Dr. Conrad Murray. Bet you didn't see that one coming. OK I knew you did. Further she says that he shouldn't be allowed to practice medicine and that Michael is always on her mind. I have to agree with Janet here. The good doctor has been less than forthcoming with accounting for his role that terrible day. This case is far from over.

TLC is damaging John Gosselin's reputation???

John Gosselin is suing TLC for a cool 5 million. He claims that TLC has damaged his reputation and hurt his financial income by not allowing him to work on other projects. Gosselin claims that anyone he tries to deal with is warded off by TLC. Please keep it in mind that TLC was already suing him first for breach of contract. Hell, they want 175K from him! Now I can certainly understand the loss of income bit, John knows that wheels and bimbos cost mucho dinero but damaged his reputation? Give me a break! I didn,t even know he still had a reputation to ruin. This dude could become a armed robber and it would only improve his reputation.

Nick Hogan is still a frakking douchebag.

Nick Hogan was shooting his mouth off again this time for Life and Style. He told them that even now he still has nightmares about prison. Do I even need to say that he never said why he was serving his rather light sentence or mention John Graziano? Boo hoo Nick, Jesus, are we supposed to feel sorry for this guy?!? Hey Nick! At least you CAN still have nightmares! You know who can't? John Graziano! God you make me sick! We cannot help but to wonder how is it that he manages to sleep with himself long enough TO have a nightmare???

The Control Room has now been reactivated.

After a long haitus The Control Room is now back in action. The Bunker is secured and powered up ready for action. Its been quite a long time, my apologies but Hollywoods fanatical god worship that was the elections of last year left me quite disallusioned. My god I haven't seen anything like that since Nuremberg 1936 and we all know what became of that. Anyway things seem to have calmed down now our favorite celebrities have not been idle. Lets activate survellience and see what we can see...