Ashley Dupre gets into Playboy.

Hugh Hefner must be going senile. Playboy used to have higher standards. The May issue of Playboy will feature Ashley Dupre (Elliot Spitzers hooker). I wonder how much the Whore of Babylon is getting for this one. Let's see first she gets a job writing an advice collumn and now a photo spread. She's raking it in. America, you have no shame.

Tiger Woods Nike commercial makes me want to friggin vomit.

If anyone hasn't seen it yet, you will. I'm sure it will be plastered everywhere. This is the most sickening thing I've ever seen in my life. There's Tiger looking like a lost puppy just staring into the camera while they play the voice of his DEAD FATHER! The father says:

"Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion," Earl Woods says. "I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. Did you learn anything?"

Yes he learned something, don't f*cking send bloody text messages near your wife stupid! Hey dad, why don't you ask him if he's sorry while you're at it so I can hear another fake apology! Yeah, he's sorry all right, SORRY HE GOT CAUGHT!

I love the way it tries to tug at the heart strings. Almost makes him look like the victim doesn't it? Like a little boy who got his hands caught in the cookie jar (literally). If you haven't seen it yet, check it here at CNN in its nauseating horrifically acted entirety.

http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2010/04/07/ac.nike.ad.woods.father.cnn.html

What this has to do with Nike, I'll never know. I like how Tiger drags his father out of the grave to help him endorse products. That's a nice touch. I also like how earlier this week he was saying that his father was his inspiration in rehab. Although isn't this the same father who he said cheated on his mother? So which is it Tiger? Which dad is the real one? At this point lying has become so habitual to the man so he can get what he wants (ie: money, whores, endorsements, YOUR SYMPATHY) you can't believe a single word the bastard says. Poor sad little Tiger, disgusting.

Jon Gosselin is going broke...big shock.

Radaronline.com is reporting that Jon Gosselin is going broke quickly. Didn't see that one coming. Jon hasn't had a steady job since "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" got cancelled and he spent a fortune in a legal battle with TLC. Kate's getting $200,000 for "Dancing With the Stars" AND she's getting a new reality program. Who knew having a working uterus could be so damn lucrative???

As I reported yesterday, Jon wants his cash cow back so he's going for sole custody of the children claiming that Kate is an absentee mom. Personally I don't think either one is a responsible parent but that's just me. Anyway, I can't see Jon pulling this one off. Oh, let's just face it. The man doesn't have a hope in hell.

Nicholas Brendon gets formally charged with multiple counts.

Nicholas Brendon of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" was formally charged with 4 misdemeanors for his little run in with the cops. The police received a report of a disturbance by a drunk dude in Venice, CA and when they showed up he didn't go quietly. Ok, maybe that's putting it mildly...they had to tazer him twice to get him under control.

The charges are the usual favorites: resisting arrest, 2 counts of battery against a police officer and vandalism. The thing that I don't get it that these are all misdemeanor charges. Since when is taking a few slugs at a cop a misdemeanor???

Corey Him had access to more drugs than we thought.

Wow, California Attorney Jerry Brown has stated that in the first 2 months of this year Corey Haim had 7 doctors provide him with prescriptions for 553 pills. Pretty much everything in the book. Although the cause of death has not yet been determined by the medical examiner you can probably guess what they're leaning towards. To be honest I was giving him the benefit of the doubt on this one. He seemed sincere on being clean. Pity.

Jon Gosselin wants his cash cow back.

After being off the radar for a while America's greatest dad is back! Jon, who imploded when TLC shut him down is now seeking sole custody of his children. He says that Kate is an absent mother and is spending all of her time on Dancing With The Stars and not with the children. He also wants child support reduced because he says that $20,000 a month is too high. To put the icing on the cake he is considering asking the judge to reverse the support all together as he feels that he should be paid by Kate.

Good luck with that one Jon. Let me know how it works out. I'm sure there is a 0% chance that you want the kids to get another reality show going. Nah, it's all done out of love.

Conrad Murray is delusional.

Conrad Murray is sticking to his story about Michael Jackson. He still insists that he did nothing wrong and Michael killed himself. He also says that he will not consider any plea bargains as he is an innocent man.

I still can't believe this guy. This has got to be the weakest defense I've ever heard in my life. On the positive side even though the judge didn't take his medical license he knows it's inevitable that the the medical boards in California, Nevada and Texas will. Hope they don't take too much time.

Conrad Murray gets to keep his license????

I can scarcely believe it. Judge Pastor ruled in favor of Conrad Murray he can keep his license to practice medicine in the state of California. Holy crap dude. I don't know what is wrong with this judge but something is really screwed up in the california Legal system. What the hell is wrong with these people??? Why don't you let him work in a nuring home while your're at it! Un-bloody-believable.

Conrad Murray NEEDS to come up with a better defense.

Here's one that Mother Goose would reject as a fairy tale. Dr Murray's defense in the Michael Jackson case is that he gave him the Propofol and stayed with him. He only left the room for two minutes to use the bathroom during which time Michael must have got up, and put the rest of the drug into his IV, and overdosed himself. He also says that Michael was a propofol addict. Ok so saying he was an addict is interesting since it makes you his drug dealer, not buying the two minute thing either. I love how his defense boils down to "he killed himself". That's never going to fly man. People this is the same guy who's petitioning the court NOT to revoke his medical license! Holy crap dude! You've got balls!

Dr. Conrad Murray may be screwed.

Dr. Murray's lawyer is filing papers to request that the good doctor not loose his medical license. It seems that the State Attorney General wants to yank it as a condition of his bail. If other states where he has licenses follow suit then he will be totally unable to pay for a defense.

Wow, that's sad. You know what else is sad? Manslaughter!

Angelina Jolie is friggin nuts.

InTouch Weekly scored an interview with one of Jolie's bodyguards. The dude, known only as "Bill" told them that she's a psycho, she has no kindness in her heart, no patience, she screams and yells, punishes with silence and likes to giggle when the children cry. Nice. Brad according to Bill gets interrogated by her all the time on the phone so he tunes her out and goes to bed in a separate bedroom. Sounds like a lovely household.

I can't say I'm actually surprised by this, she's got "bitch" written all over her. I wonder how long it will be before Brad cracks. Actually if it's that bad I'm surprised it lasted this long. The kids may be screwed but on the bright side I'm sure they'll be able to afford all of the therapy that they're going to be needing.

Anna Paquin says she's bisexual, then again who isn't?

Anna Paquin of 'True Blood' says that she's bisexual and is doing a PSA for a group called the "Give A Damn" campain, a group that promotes equality for gays, lesbians, transgenders etc.

I know that there are plenty of people in Hollywood of various sexual persuasions but makes you have to wonder how many are legit and how many are doing it to boost their careers. The jumping on the lesbian / bisexual bandwagon is so popular now even Lindsay Lohan has tried it and let's face it, making an announcement like this while you're engaged to your co-star Stephen Moyer (note: a dude) doesn't add to your credibility much. It makes it look like a publicity stunt.

Is this an April Fool's prank?

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt piss off Native Americans

Saw this one coming a MILE away! In what may be the dumbest publicity stunt I've seen in a long time Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt changed their names to White Wolf and Running Bear. Big shock, there's some blow back from that. A representative of the Rosebud Sioux tribe told TMZ “Continued stereotyping such as this by people ignorant of our traditional ways is very disrespectful and only hurts our efforts to curtail these stereotypes,”.

How to these two even function in society anyway? For the record they said they did it to be more spiritual people. Have they even seen a Native American outside of watching "Dances With Wolves"? I think not. Idiots.

Jesse James' attorney stretches believability a tad.

By now everyone on earth has seen the photo released yesterday of Jesse James wearing a nazi hat and heiling Hitler well his attorney says that James is not a nazi...and managed to do it with a straight face.

He claimes that James was given the hat as a joke by his Jewish godfather so he couldn't possibly be a neo-nazi and that he spent a month living on a kibbutz in Israel once. Hey, what more proof do you need???

A Jewish godfather? First time I've ever heard of one. A nazi hat as a gag gift? Maybe. However given his neo-nazi mistress tendencies I kind of doubt it.

Ok, so Jesse James' #3 mistress was a well paid dominatrix, why not?

This is starting to get weird. Brigitte Daguerre was into some freaky sh*t. Anyone up for a little wacky smacky? Radaronline.com got the skinny:

Brigitte Daguerre, Jesse James mistress #3, is a gold digger who admits she traded her “services” for money, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

As RadarOnline.com first revealed, Brigitte worked as a dominatrix and took part in a documentary by filmmaker John Keeler, who says “she’s a gold digger and maybe the best gold diggers are like this—she gives you something in return.”

On video obtained exclusively by RadarOnline.com, Brigitte, who carried on a several-year affair with James, talks about how her “clients “bring me gifts, they wash my car and do things I don’t care to do.” Watch the video above or click here to see it.

James is now in sex rehab at Sierra Tucson, as four women have admitted they had sexual relationships with him during his marriage to Sandra Bullock. Daguerre has claimed she didn’t want to profit off her relationship but an agent representing her told RadarOnline.com that Daguerre is selling photos of herself for profit and also had put her story up for bid.

Her hook up with James plunges Bullock into an even deeper nightmare, as Daguerre admits to having a “slave.” “There’s this guy, who’s a lawyer. I do bring him home,” she says on RadarOnline.com’s video. “He pays my rent, doctor bills and all my equipment for school and my tuition.” He was married. “Thank God,” she said, “I only have to see him twice a week.” If that wasn’t enough, she said, “I have him take me to expensive restaurants.”

Filmmaker Keeler says “the whole idea of a slave who comes and pays for their service is that you give gifts and you do that. And as Brigitte said that has a lot to do with why she does it—kind of her reward; her benefit and motive.” The documentary was shot in 1991-92.

When it gets to the point that farm animals start showing up for press conferences I'm quitting as a blogger and moving to a monastery.

Tiger's 15th mistress has come forward. Good grief.

This one is a porn star from Tampa named Devon James. I can't keep up with this guy. Anyway this one says that she had a three way with Tiger and she had had sex with him while his wife Elin was pregnant. Nice.

She goes on with the usual disclaimer of "I feel really sorry for his wife". I love it when they say that it's almost like they're some kind of uninvolved third party and finally she said that more mistresses will come out. Of this I have no doubt.

Ok, so maybe Tiger's not that cheap...when it comes to protecting his ass!

Remember yesterday when Tiger's women were telling Vanity Fair that they had to pull his arm to get a lousy chicken wrap? Well Rachel Uchitel (harlot #1) didn't have that problem. She got 10 million in hush money! Damn man!!! TMZ reports:

There were numerous reports Rachel settled on the brink of holding a Gloria Allred-style news conference for anywhere between $2 - 5 million.

But our sources -- and they are good -- tell TMZ Tiger was so concerned with the depth and detail of information from Alleged Mistress #1 that they folded like a cheap suit, and offered the huge $10 million sum in return for an ironclad confidentiality agreement.

TMZ has learned the actual settlement could fluctuate $1 million either way, depending on future circumstances. But the baseline is $10 mil.

Compare Rachel's settlement with what other A.M's received, if they got anything at all. We're told several mistresses got several hundred thousand dollars, and others got nothing. That speaks volumes about how much Rachel knows.

Un-friggin-believable. When the hell did being a homewrecker get to be so damn profitable??? I'm in the wrong line of work! Although you have to admit it is kinda funny how some of them didn't even get so much as a tip. I'm sure they'll make a few bucks prostituting themselves to the tabloids. They pay better.