Monday, June 23, 2008

George Carlin dies at 71.

Carlin passed away yesterday from a heart attack. MSNBC.com reports:


George Carlin, the frenzied performer whose routine “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” led to a key Supreme Court ruling on obscenity, has died.


Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, went into St. John’s Health Center in Santa Monica on Sunday afternoon complaining of chest pain and died later that evening, said his publicist, Jeff Abraham. He had performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas. He was 71.


“He was a genius and I will miss him dearly,” Jack Burns, who was the other half of a comedy duo with Carlin in the early 1960s, told The Associated Press.


Carlin’s jokes constantly breached the accepted boundaries of comedy and language, particularly with his routine on the “Seven Words” — all of which are taboo on broadcast TV and radio to this day.
When he uttered all seven at a show in Milwaukee in 1972, he was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, freed on $150 bail and exonerated when a Wisconsin judge dismissed the case, saying it was indecent but citing free speech and the lack of any disturbance.


When the words were later played on a New York radio station, they resulted in a 1978 Supreme Court ruling upholding the government’s authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language during hours when children might be listening.


“So my name is a footnote in American legal history, which I’m perversely kind of proud of,” he told The Associated Press earlier this year.


There are quite a few things I'd like to say about what I think of this dude but I think I won't this time.
Rest in Peace.

Friday, June 20, 2008

The British don't want Martha Stuart...can't figure out why.

Martha couldn't get a visa to get into Britain. I always knew those dudes had class. TMZ reports:


The domestic goddess has been turned down for a visa to enter Britain because of her rap sheet. She was reportedly set to tour several areas of the country, as well as tour the Royal Academy of Arts in London.


Stewart spent five months in a federal prison in 2004 after she was convicted of conspiracy and lying to the Feds.Her rep told the Daily Telegraph "Martha loves England and hopes this can be resolved and that she will be able to visit soon."


There's only one way to react to news like that...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

Somebody doesn't want 50 Cent seeing his kid.

Let's make this one nice short and sweet, TMZ reports:


TMZ has learned that Shaniqua Tompkins is headed to court this morning, asking for a temporary restraining order against Fiddy. Shaniqua will allege that threats have been made against her -- and they're coming from 50's peeps.


I just see one hole in this story. You see when 50 Cent doesn't like you he BURNS YOUR FUCKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YOU IN IT!!!!...so why would he send people to threaten you? Now that's the burning (sorry) question. 50 Cent doesn't threaten, he acts.

Jamie Lynn Spears proves that people are fucking stupid.

There's just no way to deny this one people. Here's what idiots in the Spears home town are saying about the birth of the bastard child...I may interject a thought or two:

hometown of Kentwood, La., was buzzing with the news she gave birth, with friends and relatives expressing surprise (WTF where the hell have you people been!?!), relief and confidence the 17-year-old will be a good mother(SURE! SHE CAN READ HER MOTHER'S BOOK!!! WHAT COULD GO FUCKING WRONG???). "She's awfully young to be a momma," says distant cousin Margie Busby(No shit Margie you're sharp). "But that's what they make [grandmothers] for. They have to help. That's the way it is with our circle of friends."(Circle read: gang banging orgy) Second cousin Janet Bridges acknowledges, "I didn't even know she had the baby," (My God man, you're either stupid beyond all belief, blind and deaf or live in a fucking swamp and don't even know what electricity much less a TV is) but gives a thumbs up (all 10 of them) to the baby girl's name. "Ooh, I like 'Maddie,'" says Bridges (Ooh, I like fudge too!).

The birth was the talk of Kentwood (Why not nothing else ever happens there). "I'm really happy for her and her family," says Jennifer Pike (why? you support unplanned underage irresponsible pregnancy? Good for you lady!), who works at the corner store (and always will) where the Spears family often shops (shoplifts). "There will probably be some rough times and some bumpy times (some?!?), but I wish the best for her. I wish her all the luck in the world." (Gonna need it) "We're so excited for her," a family friend tells PEOPLE. "She'll be a great mom (whatever you're smoking bitch, pass some of that shit down, don't be shy dude). She'll be awesome."(now I know Adds another friend, "She was so excited about having this child. She was looking forward to it so much." The days have passed slowly for Spears and fiancé Casey Aldridge, who had finished preparing for the baby a few weeks ago. "It seemed like this day would never come," (rephrase buddy " we PRAYED this day would never come) says a cousin of Aldridge. "They've been getting ready, but everything was pretty much done by last month. So they just had to wait."

Now that Maddie Briann (that is a stupid name) is here, family members hope that Spears and Aldridge are good parents (why not most teenagers are experienced enough to know what they're doing). "It's easy to have them, but hard to raise them,"(have fun kids and just wait until that little bundle of joy reached the your age, I know parents that could write VOLUMES on that subject!) says relative Charlie Spears. "I hope she's healthy, and I hope they raise a good baby." (don't bet on it)

Naomi Campbell pleads guilty to beating the shit out of people.

Given her record I don't think she could have denied this one if she tried....and she didn't try. E Online reports:


The trouble-prone catwalker pleaded guilty today to assaulting two police officers after causing a stink aboard a BA flight at London's Heathrow Airport in April, charges that could land her serious jail time.


Sporting shades and a dark suit and flanked by a guardian, the 38-year-old Campbell arrived at Uxbridge Magistrates Court in a chauffeur-driven Mercedes and pushed her way through hordes of paparazzi and press without addressing their questions.


Will Naomi get serious jail time? Normally I'd be laughing at that statement but after what happened to Wesley Snipes and Paris, I'm not so sure anymore. Stay tuned.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Charlie Sheen can't pick the right insult.

Sometimes the things you say come back to haunt you. Three years later...by your psychotic ex-wife...who recorded you...and claims to have no idea how the tape got leaked. Access Hollywood reports:


Charlie Sheen has apologized for using a racial slur in a voicemail to Denise Richards.
Messages from an angry Sheen to Richards started surfacing on the Internet earlier this week.
In one of the messages, dated April 19, 2005, the “Two and A Half Men” star can be heard ending a call by referring to his ex in a host of aspersions including the “c” word and the “n” word.


Sheen quickly responded to the leaked voicemails, apologizing for using such language.
“I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings,” Sheen said in a statement obtained by Access Hollywood.


“And for the record, my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation,” Sheen’s statement continued. “So three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis.”
In an interview with Denise Richards, set to air on “The Billy Bush Show” Wednesday evening, the actress said she only recently learned the calls had been leaked.


“I got several calls from my publicist who told me about it,” she said in a new interview with Billy. “Those are actually files with the court [from] two years ago… There are transcripts that were public record two years ago. I don’t know how an actual tape got out. I actually haven’t heard it since I was told about it, so I don’t know.”


Got some bad news for you Charlie, if she's got more tapes like that one expect them to magically pop up whenever she wants to throw a hissy fit. Although I have no idea what you were thinking when you used the "N" word on her if it makes you feel any better I'm totally with you on the "C" word thing...cause she totally fucking is.

oh great...another Spears.

It looks like America's most beloved unwed pregnant girl popped out the kid finally. MSNBC.com reports:




Jamie Lynn Spears has given birth to a baby girl, according to People.com. The Web site is also reporting that the child, born at 9:30 a.m. Central time on Thursday, is named Maddie Briann.
The National Enquirer reported that Maddie was 6 pounds, 10 ounces, and was born in a hospital in Mississippi, not far from Jamie Lynn's Kentwood, La., home.



Spears, the 17-year-old little sister of pop star Britney Spears, has been living in Kentwood since December, retreating to her hometown shortly after announcing her pregnancy.




I have great hopes for the future for this baby being surrounded by such fine role models. I predict she will be pregnant herself by just after her 13th birthday, be a mental case by 14 and then by 15 write a book on what a fine job she's going to be doing as a mother. This could very well be the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it.

Ali Lohan may star in a movie.

>I can see where this day is going already. Apparently Ali Lohan is the top choice to star in the remake of the 1986 movie Troll. Eonline reports:




Lindsay's little sister auditioned last week for the role of the young Eunice St. Clair, who helps Harry Potter Jr. (no relation whatsoever to J.K. Rowling's gazillion-dollar creation of the same name) fight the evil Torok the Troll.



"She was great," Buechler tells me. "The camera loves her. She's a really good actress...I am personally going to fight for her."



Buechler says the $25 million remake is being financed independently: "It's a retelling of the original story with some twists."



The original featured Sonny Bono, June Lockhart and marked the feature-film debut of Julia Louis-Dreyfus.




That was a great movie why fuck it up with a Lohan? Of course I've never seen a remake that was as good as the original and if Ali turns out to get the part that will be the final nail in the coffin for me. I won't need to see it to know that it will suck and I sure as hell don't want to see these "twists" in the plot that they're talking about.

Wesley Snipes problems just got a whole lot worse.

I understand that the IRS took Snipes to court and I understand that they convicted him for not filing tax returns but what I don't believe is that they're sending him a fucking BILL for prosecuting him! The Orlando Sentinel reports:

The government recently sent a "cost of prosecution" bill to the judge in the case. The Orlando-born actor was convicted on three misdemeanor counts of failing to file a federal tax return for the years 1999, 2000 and 2001 and sentenced in April to 36 months in federal prison. He remains free while his case is on appeal. His attorneys object to many of the fees the government is seeking.$193,716.98 for scanning, printing and numbering documents

Holy living fuck that's cold! Man, celebrity justice really failed Wesley on this one! And I always thought Paris was the one who got the book thrown at her, damn.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Johnny Depp is still the coolest man on earth.

I don't know exactly what makes Johnny Depp so awesome. Oh, wait I do, it's things like this, OK Magazine repots:


The Oscar-nominated star gave 12-year-old Jack Taylor a present he will never forget when sent the boy a fedora he wore while filming Public Enemies in Jack's Wisconsin hometown. Jack fell in love with the hat when he spotted Johnny on set in April -- so much so that he asked the actor if he could have it.Johnny said he could once filming wrapped, and lo and behold, sent the fedora Jack's way last week, The Northwestern reports. And he's not the only one who got a present. Making sure none of Jack's four siblings felt slighted, the 45-year-old sent them gear from his 2005 hit Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Attached was a personal note telling the kids to enjoy the gifts.For his part, Jack is currently penning a thank-you note for Johnny.


Wow, he keeps his word and is not a typical Hollywood scumbag. This could be the start of a revolution....nah.

Angelina Jolie is still better than you...and still trying to take over the world.

Ok, the stuck up bitch hasn't even given birth to her unwanted spawn and she's already planning on adopting another one. How many does this fucking make already??? OK Magazine reports:


Even though Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are about to welcome their twin girls into the world at any moment now, OK! has learned that's not stopping them from making plans to add yet another child to their "soccer team" of a family — a baby boy from Ethiopia."Angie and Brad have wanted an African boy for the last couple of years," an insider tells OK!. "They were initially going to have that adoption follow the addition of Pax last year, but that all changed when Angie got pregnant with twins last fall."


I'm also 100% convinced that she's planning some kind of global domination plot. Something similar to "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" if I'm not mistaken. She's going to replace them all with Bradjolina's. We should handle this as if it were a full blown zombie invasion. So let's get some molotov cocktails and some shotguns and head on out to California before they get to us!

Ann Hathaway decides to get the fuck out of Dodge.

Ann Hathaway broke up with her boyfriend Raffaello Follieri over the weekend. I can't say I'm surprised. People.com reports:

The longtime couple are "for now, not together," says a source close to Hathaway, 25. (The actress's rep declined to comment.) Adds the source: "They are always breaking up and getting back together, so the fact that they broke up this time around doesn't strike me as anything new. They are passionate people – and just like any relationship, people get together, break up and get back together again. This breakup is one in a long line of previous breakups, so I don't think it's anything significant." It has been an especially rocky few months for Follieri, 29, who is under investigation by the New York State Attorney General's office, which has no record of IRS tax disclosure forms necessary for his charitable Follieri Foundation. Last month, the Manhattan District Attorney's office declined to prosecute Follieri after his arrest in April for allegedly writing a $215,000 bad check. "They dated for four years," says a source close to Follieri. "He loves her. He cares deeply for her. It's a shame."

C'mon Ann, stand by your man! Nothing says "I love you" like spending your spare time shredding incriminating evidence!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Billy Ray Cyrus is still trying to talk himself out of a jam.

Billy Ray Cyrus is still trying to weasel his way out that whole Vanity Fair photo shoot debacle. Access Hollywood reports:


Setting the record straight, Billy Ray Cyrus once again confirmed he was not around when his daughter, Miley, posed provocatively for Vanity Fair and famed photographer Annie Leibovitz.
During a new interview with Access Hollywood on Tuesday, Billy Ray said he was not on the set when his 15-year-old daughter wrapped herself in a blanket for the now infamous shots.
“I wasn’t there when they took the controversial photograph,” Billy Ray told Access. “I took my picture with Miley and then had to go catch a flight, so I wasn’t there.”


Am I the only one out there that doesn't think that his version has quite the ring of truth to it? You knew Billy, you knew. And get a life of your own you one hit wonder.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Hulk Hogan is so detached from reality it makes me want to vomit.

Just when I think this jerkoff can't get any worse he goes that extra mile. Father of year was on Larry King last night and said the following about his son's crash victim John Graziano:

Hulk said he felt Nick's accident, which put friend John Graziano in a vegetative state, was God's plan to make John a better person.

Do I really need to go any further than that. Holy crap man, is anyone in that family capable to taking any responsibility??? Let me make sure I'm keeping score according to both Nick and Hulk this accident was the fault of:

1. The other driver.
2. John Graziano (for being in the car).
3. John Graziano (for not wearing a seat belt).
4. God.

Am I leaving anyone out???

...oh and by the way he called Nick's drag racing "precision driving"...stupid fuck.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Clint Eastwood doesn't put up with Spike Lee's shit.

Old Spiko wants to rewrite history by criticising Clint Eastwood's film about Iwo Jima. Spike wanted more black dudes who werent there. Clint doesn't put up with that revisionist crap. Access Hollywood reports:


LOS ANGELES, Calif. --
Spike Lee has hit back at Clint Eastwood’s recent suggestion to “shut his face,” by claiming the Oscar winner sounds like “an angry old man.”
“First of all, the man is not my father and we’re n

ot on a plantation either,” he told ABCNews.com. “He’s a great director. He makes his films, I make my films. The thing about it though, I didn’t personally attack him. And a comment like ‘a guy like that should shut his face’ — come on Clint, come on. He sounds like an angry old man right there.”


Lee seemed to start what has now become a public exchange of criticism in May at the Cannes Film Festival, by calling out Eastwood for his lack of black faces in his two World War II films — “Flags of our Fathers” and “Letters from Iwo Jima.”


“He did two films about Iwo Jima back to back and there was not one black soldier in both of those films,” Lee told reporters last month. “Many veterans, African Americans, who survived that war are upset at Clint Eastwood. In his vision of Iwo Jima, Negro soldiers did not exist. Simple as that. I have a different version.”


On Friday, Eastwood’s response ran in UK newspaper The Guardian. The veteran actor and director claimed Lee was not up on his facts when he made the comments
Eastwood said there were black troops in Iwo Jima, “but they didn’t raise the flag. The story is ‘Flags of Our Fathers,’ the famous flag-raising picture, and they didn’t do that.”
“If I go ahead and put an African American actor in there, people’d go, ‘This guy’s lost his mind.’ I mean, it’s not accurate,” Eastwood added.


I'm with Clint on this one and frankly somebody needs to tell Spike Lee to shut the fuck up. Ok, I'll do it...Spike, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Dear Lindsay...

YOU'RE NOT A LESBIAN!!! STOP MAKING AN IDIOT OF YOURSELF BY PULLING STUNTS LIKE THIS IN A PATHETICALLY OBIVIOUS ATTEMPT TO SALVAGE YOUR DEAD CAREER! IT'S NOT WORKING!!!

...stupid.

K-Fed is father of the year!

Voted father of the year by a club in Vegas what better endorsement could you ask for? People reports:

Sources tell PEOPLE he will be awarded the title during a presentation at the club. The unofficial honor is Federline's second such recognition in a relatively short time. Last November, Details magazine also anointed him father of the year – an honor he shared with onetime Anna Nicole Smith boyfriend Larry Birkhead.

Of course considering that his ex-wife is Britney and he was up against Larry Birkhead I guess I can see how they chose him.

Candy Spelling makes me want to vomit.

Just what she needed MORE CASH! TMZ reports:

TMZ Vegas spies tell us over the weekend, Candy Dandy was playing the high limit slots (up to $1,000 a pull) at the Bellagio Hotel when she cleaned the clock of a one-armed bandit to the tune of $180,000. To put this in perspective, $180 grand to her is like $8 bucks in our world.So you think lightning only strikes once? Exactly one year ago in Vegas, Candy -- whose fortune is estimated at $600 mil -- won $200,000 at -- yes, the Bellagio. And yes, on the slots. She was actually up $350,000 at one point but couldn't walk away.

Why G-d WHY????

Monday, June 2, 2008

Ted Kennedy is more important than you!

As we all know Ted Kennedy has brain cancer and now he's got the finest doctors in the country working on his surgery. Big shock there. MSNBC.com reports.

Kennedy said he selected a team of neuro-oncologists from Boston’s Massachusetts General Hospital and Duke University Medical Center.

The hospital at Duke is on the north side of the campus of the elite private college in Durham, about 30 minutes west of the state capital in Raleigh. The brain tumor research center at Duke is conducting several clinical trials in malignant glioma.

Aside from several television trucks parked outside, there was little sign that a notable patient was inside.

Friedman is “one of the thought leaders” and a giant in the field of neuro-oncology, said Dr. Otis Brawley, chief medical officer of the American Cancer Society, speaking from Chicago, where more than 30,000 cancer specialists are attending an American Society of Clinical Oncology conference.

Friedman is chief of the division of neurosurgery in the surgical department at Duke and also co-director of the neuro-oncology department there. His clinical interests are brain tumors, skull-based tumors, peripheral nerve surgery, pituitary tumors and cerebrovascular disaster, according to his resume on the medical center’s Web site.

After his treatment, Kennedy said, “I look forward to returning to the United States Senate and to doing everything I can to help elect Barack Obama as our next president.” Kennedy has endorsed Obama, the front-runner for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Kennedy was hospitalized May 17 at Massachusetts General Hospital after undergoing a seizure at his home on Cape Cod. Doctors later announced that he had a malignant glioma in his left parietal lobe, a brain region that governs sensation but also plays some role in movement and language. A malignant glioma is one of the worst kinds of brain cancer, and malignant gliomas are diagnosed in about 9,000 Americans a year.

Maybe I'm just in a bad mood today but you got to love the way that the dude who invented "scuba driving" is getting such top notch care. Of all the people in the United States who have brain cancer this guy gets the best doctors to try to save his live. Are you fucking kidding me???? You know Ted, if there is an afterlife there's a woman out there at the bottom of a lake who got cheated out of her life who I'm sure would love to talk to you.

Clooney's ex wastes no time being a whore.

Now that Sarah Larson has lost the Cloon she's gone back to what she does best. Being a slut. TMZ reports:


Sarah Larson was red-hot on the town, "dancing seductively" as Vegas Confidential reports, for an ex-boyfriend (not George) at grand opening of Palms Place Hotel and Spa Saturday night. It was the first time she'd been out in public since splitting from Clooney.


I'm sure she'll find something special...or at least a free clinic.
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