Jamie Lynn Spears proves that people are fucking stupid.

There's just no way to deny this one people. Here's what idiots in the Spears home town are saying about the birth of the bastard child...I may interject a thought or two:

hometown of Kentwood, La., was buzzing with the news she gave birth, with friends and relatives expressing surprise (WTF where the hell have you people been!?!), relief and confidence the 17-year-old will be a good mother(SURE! SHE CAN READ HER MOTHER'S BOOK!!! WHAT COULD GO FUCKING WRONG???). "She's awfully young to be a momma," says distant cousin Margie Busby(No shit Margie you're sharp). "But that's what they make [grandmothers] for. They have to help. That's the way it is with our circle of friends."(Circle read: gang banging orgy) Second cousin Janet Bridges acknowledges, "I didn't even know she had the baby," (My God man, you're either stupid beyond all belief, blind and deaf or live in a fucking swamp and don't even know what electricity much less a TV is) but gives a thumbs up (all 10 of them) to the baby girl's name. "Ooh, I like 'Maddie,'" says Bridges (Ooh, I like fudge too!).

The birth was the talk of Kentwood (Why not nothing else ever happens there). "I'm really happy for her and her family," says Jennifer Pike (why? you support unplanned underage irresponsible pregnancy? Good for you lady!), who works at the corner store (and always will) where the Spears family often shops (shoplifts). "There will probably be some rough times and some bumpy times (some?!?), but I wish the best for her. I wish her all the luck in the world." (Gonna need it) "We're so excited for her," a family friend tells PEOPLE. "She'll be a great mom (whatever you're smoking bitch, pass some of that shit down, don't be shy dude). She'll be awesome."(now I know Adds another friend, "She was so excited about having this child. She was looking forward to it so much." The days have passed slowly for Spears and fiancé Casey Aldridge, who had finished preparing for the baby a few weeks ago. "It seemed like this day would never come," (rephrase buddy " we PRAYED this day would never come) says a cousin of Aldridge. "They've been getting ready, but everything was pretty much done by last month. So they just had to wait."

Now that Maddie Briann (that is a stupid name) is here, family members hope that Spears and Aldridge are good parents (why not most teenagers are experienced enough to know what they're doing). "It's easy to have them, but hard to raise them,"(have fun kids and just wait until that little bundle of joy reached the your age, I know parents that could write VOLUMES on that subject!) says relative Charlie Spears. "I hope she's healthy, and I hope they raise a good baby." (don't bet on it)