Balloon Boy dad gets 90 days.

Richard Heene has been sentenced to 90 days in jail with 60 days work release.  Personally, after the stunt this dude pulled I think he got off pretty damn easy.  With all the rescue workers, law enforcement involved.  I mean c'mon!  The bloody FAA had to divert flight off their courses!  The police were cosidering dropping a guy on top to the thing to try and get it down.  All the people involved were concerned for a young boy's life.  One of these rescure workers could have been killed!  All this for a damn reality show.  How desperate are people to get on these things???  His wife got 20 days that she can serve on the weekends.  Considering she knew of the plan and went along with it, she got off pretty damn easy too.  Well, I think it may be a long time before they ever think about pulling a stunt like that again.

Wow, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon break up.

I gotta say I didn't see that one coming.  What the hell is going on everybody seems to be breaking up lately?  After 2 sons and 23 years together I thought they were pretty damn solid.  A representative has said that they separated over the summer.  Does this make Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn the last stable couple in Hollywood?  Somebody let me know.

Brittany Murphy funeral tonight.

Brittany Murphy will be buried tonight in a private ceremony.  Guests are invitation only.  The funeral is to be held at the Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills cemetery and security is said to be tight.  The loss of such a young star is very tragic.  A representative for the family has said that a larger memorial service will be held early next year. 

Jon Gosselin got MAJOR F*CKED UP THE ASS!!!!

I think everybody split for the weekend cause this is all I've got, but it's not too bad. Jon and Kate are now divorced and man didn Jon get hurt in the final settlement rammed up the ass Schillinger style!  TMZ reports:

We've learned under the arbitrator's award, Jon must make huge child support payments -- we're told 5 figures a month. And here's the problem. TLC has now shut down Jon's ability to take outside jobs. The irony -- he did himself in. (No sh*t)


We've also learned Jon was charged every penny of the $235,000 (ouch!) that he withdrew from their joint account. That amount was deducted from his piece of the settlement (ouch, ouch!).

As for Jon's claim that Kate should be docked for money she withdrew ... we've learned Jon struck out. The arbitrator determined every penny she withdrew was for the benefit of the kids (8 kids Jon good luck proving she didn't...oh wait, you couldn't!).

Jesus man, you're so OWNED now!  Dude, save what's left of your self respect and go into the back alley of the courthouse and blow away what's LEFT of your brains.

It was only a question of minutes...Tiger porn.

Vivid Entertainment is going to milk this bastard for everything they can while they can!  Get ready for the Tiger porn parody "Tiger's Wood"!  No I'm not making this up.  The New York Daily News reports:

The skin flick bills itself as the "official porn parody" of the allegedly sex-crazed golfer’s reported antics, according to the Web site, which has obtained a copy of the script.


The film, to be produced by Adam & Eve Pictures, will star Tyler Knight as the embattled golfer and Kayden Kross as Elin Nordegren, according to a statement posted on Knight's Web site.

"I'm playing porn-Elin," an ecstatic Kross tweeted.

The company expects the film to hit smut shops' shelves within eight weeks.

A producer for Adam & Eve Pictures who was quoted in the statement described the marriage of the roiling celebrity scandal and a porno parody as "a natural."

"Every day, there seems to be some new development or girlfriend exposed, and it really has captured the attention of the public," Meredith Christopher said, adding, "We may have another release depending on what happens in the near future."

Jesus....H....Christ. 

Holy crap! Chris Henry's dead!

Chris Henry, a wide receiver on the Cincinnati Bengals, died early this morning from massive head injuries that he suffered during a domestic dispute with his fiancee'.  They got into an argument yesterday and she got into a pickup truck to drive off, he jumped in the back and along the way he fell out.  Man, the last I heard he was really looking forward to getting married.  A terrible tragedy that a young life with so much promise is gone over what may well turn out to be misunderstanding.

I really hope this fight wasn't over some kind of cheating accusation because of the whole Tiger Woods "don't trust your athlete husband" thing.  I hope my gut is wrong on this one.

Kate Hudson probably made the right move by getting out now.

Now that its been a few days since the Kate Hudson - A-Rod split, it looks like Kate made the right move.  Life & Style Magazine reports that Kate had problems getting past Alex's wandering eye.  They report:

“Kate has some trust issues with A-Rod,” a friend of the “Nine” star explained. “She doesn’t know for sure if there is another woman, but there’s a girl she thinks he has a crush on. She’s been worrying about other women for a while and is definitely the jealous type.”



Worried? Seems Hudson may have finally read last year’s divorce petition from Cynthia Rodriguez, wherein A-Rod’s ex claimed his “extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct” destroyed their union. Or, as a source who overheard a conversation between Hudson and mom Goldie Hawn hinted, perhaps the actress simply had recent headlines on her mind.


Although I would say that I would not leave it up to press coverage on Tiger to make a person start second guessing their relationships, I do find that women's instinct's are rarely wrong on this matter.  If I were a friend of Kate and she told me that she had a feeling something's up.  I'd tell her to cut her losses and end it now.

Nice going Tiger, now you got whole country of Sweden after you...stupid!

Access Hollywood had a cool article on the Swedish reaction to the Tiger Woods scandal. for those of you who don't speak Swedish I will translate:

The Woods sex scandal has indeed struck a particularly raw nerve in Sweden (THEY'RE PISSED!), where Nordegren’s transition from being a nanny for golfer Jesper Parnevik to the wife of one of the world’s most famous athletes was long seen as a fairy-tale romance (THAT WENT FRIGGIN SOUTH!!!).


Over the last five years, sightings of the couple on the streets of Stockholm or in nearby Vaxholm in the archipelago — where Nordegren grew up — helped create a sense of connection to a man renowned for his reclusive persona (AND NON-RECLUSIVE COCK!!!).

But like the drop in temperatures that brought a blizzard of snow (AND WHORES...MANY...MANY  WHORES!!!)over the Scandinavian country on Tuesday, Woods’ admitted (YOU CAN'T REALLY DENY IT) betrayal of his wife has turned public opinion considerably cooler.

“We have taken him to heart and almost viewed him like one of us (ONLY BLACK!),” said Niklas Olovzon, a sponsorship and brand expert who heads the communications agency S&B. “Of course that has made this a much bigger deal … I don’t think we’ll forgive him as quickly.”

Instead, there is an outpouring of sympathy and support for Nordegren, who has claims to fame in Sweden beyond her marriage to Woods. Nordegren’s mother, Barbro Holmberg, is a well-known Social Democratic politician and former migration minister while her father Thomas Nordegren is a prominent radio journalist (WHO WANTS YOUR ASS DEAD!!!).

“She comes from two sort of Swedish houses of nobility (THEY GOT MUSCLE!), so there is a sense that this is personal (REAL PERSONAL!), McCormac said. “I’m not sure how much the Swedish public embraced Elin before this. But now, that sense of ownership and that sense of communion with her has gotten stronger.”


That’s been evident in the country’s newspapers during the last few weeks, where the numerous front-page headlines and articles have focused as much on Nordegren as on Woods (AND REVENGE!).

There has been constant speculation about whether she’ll stay with her husband (NO F*CKING WAY!), advice about how to repair her marriage (KILL HIM.), and jokes about why she used a golf club to smash the back passenger windows of Woods’ SUV the night of his infamous car crash outside their home in Florida (JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDE). Local police said his wife told them she did it to help get her husband out (OF THIS MORTAL COIL!).

In a country that prides itself on gender equality and independent women, the image of a golf club-wielding Nordegren is a source of widespread satisfaction (HILLARY KNOWS HOW YOU FEEL!).

“For us, it was almost a positive thing that she smashed the car window,” Olovzon said. “We like strong women in a lot of ways (THEY MAKE GOOD ENFORCERS).”

Britta Svensson, a columnist in the newspaper Expressen, summed it up like this:


“A week ago, Tiger and Elin were the cutest couple on the globe,” Svensson wrote shortly after the reports of numerous mistresses started seeping out. “Now our Swedish hearts are brimming with pride that our own Elin — not a regular nanny but the daughter of a Social Democratic minister and Swedish Radio journalist — didn’t take any … Elin is our heroine (A VALKRIE OF VENGENCE!).”

The same can no longer be said of Woods, of course, regardless of golf’s immense popularity in the country (??? UNTRANSLATABLE)

Thank you, 'Hej då'

Elin Nordegren marketing against Tiger brand Nike?...Brilliant!!!

Somebody at Puma deserves a raise.  TMZ is reporting Elin Nordegren, Tigers MUCH cheated on wife is in negotiations with Puma to be the spokeswoman for their new Swedish line.  Tiger pitches for Nike, their rival.  I love it!!!  This is pure marketing genius!!!  By all means, go for it Elin!!!

Tiger's probably not feeling so hot right now...neither is Nike.

Me thinks Star Magazine might be full of sh*t.

This little Tiger bandwagon might be getting out of control because now it looks like people are just making sh*t up.  Looks like any woman who has been photographed with Tiger is now fair game.  Case in point Star Magazine has a pic of Tiger with Jessica Simpson so now they've got a whole story on their seedy affair (yeah right).  Star writes:

Just days before Jessica's split with Tony Romo, she had a sizzling meeting with the fallen golf star at the AT&T National Pro-Am golf tournament in Bethesda, Md.


"Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it," a source tells Star.

Since Jess had been fighting with Tony — who was Tiger's golf partner at the July tournament — she gave as good as she got.

“Jessica said that she felt like Tony wasn’t paying attention to her, so she was like, ‘What the heck!’ ” says the source. “She decided to have fun with Tiger whether it bothered Tony or not.”

Their words in the italics!  Not mine!    "He saw what he liked and let her know it?" "Gave as good as she got?" "What the heck"!?!  Jesus, it sounds like it was written by a horny 13 year old.   Hey Star Magazine!  Try hiring some writers who are PAST puberty!!!

Remember kids, if you want to read the rest of the article you have to buy a copy of Star Magazine they won't tell you on their website.  Alternatively, you could just read it in the supermarket checkout and keep your money.  Whatever's good for you.

Then again, Noah Cyrus' parents aren't much better.

Here's a youtube video of 9 year old Noah Cyrus dancing it up backstage after a Miley concert.  Looks like a future rehab case to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ypwf4ompIpQ&feature=player_embedded

Courtney Love unfit mother??? No f'ing way dude!!!

So as of last Friday she lost the legal posession of her kid to Kurt Cobain's mother and sister.  I thought this was a little strange considering that her daughter Frances Bean is 17 years old.  I guess it's never too late to save a life.  Today was the icing on the cake.  The judge enacted a temporary restraining order preventing Courtney from contacting her daughter directly (in person) or indirectly (on the phone).  Damn, wonder if it has anything to do with, oh I don't know COCAINE?????

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal break up too.

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have hit splitsville as well.  Looks like the opposite of Hundson and Rodriguez.  He was the romantic and she didn't want to commit.  She does have 2 children from a previous marriage.  I'd be hesitant too.  Pity, they were cute together.  Maybe they'll patch it up.  I hope so.

Kate Hudson and A-Rod break up.

His flirting with a blond in Miami over the weekend was my first clue.  However they seem to have broken up under amicable circumstances and are going on with their lives.  Kate is already working on her next movie.  I thought they looked good together but she was a romantic and he isn't ready for that kind of commitment.  A-Rod should give relationship advice to Tiger.

Tiger was deeply traumatized by his father's cheating ways...wait...huh???

This is either the biggest load of hypocracy I've ever heard or a sad attempt to look like Mr. Sensitive to get a girl into bed.  I'm going with B.  Tiger's high school girl had this to say about young Tiger.  E! News reports:

Dina Parr, whom he dated during high school and into his freshman year in college, exclusively tells E! News that Woods would call her from the road during the summer to talk about his parents' relationship.



"He would just call crying and say, 'My dad is with another woman,' and that would be all he could say," she says. "He would be so upset, so I just tried to be there for him and listen to him."


Woods was famously close to his dad, Earl, who died in 2006.


"He loved his father," Parr tells E! News in the exclusive interview. "And I know that was the one thing about his dad that he could never get over. So yeah, it's interesting that it's turned out that he's doing the same thing."

I'm not so sure if "interesting" would be the word I would use.  How about PLAYA!

Barry Williams better get the hell out of town.

Barry Williams known for his role as Greg Brady on the "Brady Bunch" sitcom better make some tracks south.  Barry filed a restraining order against his ex-girlfriend Elizabeth Kennedy on the ground that she pulled a knife on him which forced him to restrain her after losing a beauty contest...and accusing him of cheating on her...and stealing his pin number and grabbing $29,000 out of his bank account.  The judge has ordered her to stay 100 yards away from him and to vacate the apartment.  Barry feels that she will become dangerous now that the relationship is over.  Time to barricade the damn door, and grab a shotgun and a bottle of gin.  You ever see "Fatal Attraction"?

Kourtnery Kardashian gives birth...woo, hoo.

Teriffic, they're reproducing now.  Kourtney has given birth to a 7lb 6oz, 19in baby boy.  Another Kardashian.  Just what the world needs.  His name is Mason Dash Disick.  Ok, the Mason is good.  Dash?  The name of the family boutique?  Good thing they don't run a Walmart.  Disick, they boyfriends last name.  This may be as close as Hollywood ever gets to giving a normal name.  2 out of 3 isn't bad.  Good luck Mason, you're going to need it.

Ashley Dupre gets a sex advice column, sure, why not?

I'm sure you all remember Ashley Dupre.  She was the prostitute that brought down New York governor Elliot Spitzer.  Well, looks like the New York Post has found a use for her that doesn't involve some of her more interesting "skills".  Now your can get sex and love advice from her every Sunday so write in your questions for her.  I don't know about the love thing but as far as sex is concerned I guess you could say she's more than qualified.  I'd love to know how much she's getting for this.

So that's how Tiger did it...hush money! Should have seen that one coming.

So that's how Tiger pulled it off for so long without anyone knowing...cold hard cash!  How much does this guy make???  MSNBC reports:

According to several women who were involved with the golfer, Woods wired money to them on a monthly basis. The dollar amounts they cite range from $5,000 to $10,000 per month, and there’s talk among those women that someone out there might be getting as much as $20,000 per month.


“The money comes via a wire transfer,” said one woman. “There’s no contract about it, there’s no discussion about what it’s for, but it’s implied that it’s in exchange for keeping quiet about his affair.”

With paying off just about every woman on the planet, that's GOT to add up!  You know Tiger, one mistress would have been a hell of alot cheaper.  FYI

Nick Hogan sinks to a new low that even I didn't think him capable of.

I thought Nick Hogan could not get any lower than the scum of the earth that he is.  In the past he's blamed John Graziano for being brain damaged because he didn't wear his seat belt / got in the car / WAS HIS FRIEND!   His father Hulk is no better with his infamous statement on Larry King Live saying that the accident was God's way of making John a better person.  Nick has never, NEVER accepted a shred of responsiblilty for this, not giving a damn about his friend and the life that he has now casued him to have, whining about a couple of month slap on the wrist sentence in jail, every member of his disgusting worthless family blaming the victim but now he goes the full monty at a deposition in Clearwater, Fl.  RadarOnline reports:

While giving a deposition, Hogan was probed by lawyers for the plaintiffs about dysfunction and "issues" in the Graziano family. Nick had told the lawyers that there was violence in the Graziano family and the Hogans talked about having his pal John Graziano move in with them.



When a lawyer asked about what type of issues John had Nick told them that John had hatred for some people, a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com exclusively.


The lawyer kept probing and asked what type of people. Nick responded: "Homos. He wanted to kill homos."

How the hell do you live with yourself?  Jesus Christ Nick.  What the f*ck is wrong with you.

Jon Gosselin's gravy train derailed.

In a shockingly non-Tiger story, TLC is not backing down and has effectively shut down Jon Gosselin's cash cow.  They don't like Jon violating his contract to make a crap load of money.  MSNBC.com reports:

A Maryland judge is ruling in the dispute between Jon Gosselin and the TLC network that the father must stop making media appearances that are at odds with his contract.


Montgomery County Circuit Judge Michael D. Mason ruled Thursday following a one-day hearing.

TLC Chief Operating Officer Edward Sabin testified that Gosselin made unauthorized appearances and endorsements. In particular, he mentioned a pool party that Gosselin hosted at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas. Sabin says photos from the event were at odds with the wholesome image of the show, "Jon & Kate Plus 8."

Although I think the phrase "wholesome" may be debatable, one has to think.  What will Jon do now to make money off of children...Hey!  Octomom!  Still available????

The porn star one says she's "not a homewrecker"! Then what are you?

Holly Sampson, who TMZ says is mistress #7 (I'll take their word on it) says she's not a homewrecker because she met (banged) Tiger at a bachelor party (his) in 2004 and since he wasn't married yet it's totally ok.

Sidenote:  To all readers male or female.  If you found out your fiance' f*cked a porn star on their bachelor / bachelorette party.  Would you find that "OK"?   Neither would I.

She also doesn't like being grouped with the others!

"Although I enjoyed our time together, I never was and never will be one of Tiger's mistresses.I resent being put in the same category as the other women."

I love how they're all trying to make like they're in a different category!  "I'm not a...(homewrecker / mistress / porn star / cocktail girl / escort / easy ) because Tiger at the time was...(married / unmarried / out of town / holding a fistful of $20's with this wedding band exposed)".   I'm going to save all of you "ladies" the trouble of straining your minds to try to make yourselves feel unique or totally "innocent" (see above).  Let's go for 1 blanket term...slut.

You're welcome.

Tiger mistress Jaimee Grubbs has incredible logic too!!!

Jamiee (mistress # I lost count) Grubbs also feels sorry for Tiger's wife.  Your sympathies have been duly noted.  Why doesn't everyone just sign a f'ing card!  However she also says:

"If it wasn't me, it was going to be other girls. I did care about him -- I didn't do it for superficial reasons. I didn't do it to purposely hurt her."


Let's break that one down a bit.  Let's see, if it wasn't you it was going to be someone else so what the hell!  Man, Jaimee you should be a goodwill ambassador for the f*cking U.N.! 
 
You didn't do it for superficial reasons, ok I actually believe that one.  However, "you didn't do it to hurt her".  I can't even dignify that one with a response.  Yes I can.  You're disgusting Jaimee.

More Rachel Uchitel outrage. I can see I'm going to have fun with this one.

Rachel's got her lawyer after "The View" because Joy Behar cracked a joke at her expense calling her a hooker.  Wow.  Rachel is hurt (she's hurt???).  Rachel says that she is not a hooker and that the comment was hurtful and offensive and she values her reputation and that reputation has been damaged.  She wants a retraction.

Ok, time for a reality check.

A.  Rachel, you don't sleep with men for money (that we know of yet) so I guess hooker is not an accurate assessment.  Hmmm, what do you call someone who sleeps with married men but not for money?  At best, homewrecker, at worst slut....happy now?

B.  What reputation???  See A.

Rachel Uchitel is shocked that she's not the exclusive whore/homewrecker/slut. (pick the one you want)

The thing that gets me about all of these Tiger Woods mistresses is how they all have the most deludued of minds.  Rachel (mistress #1) apart  from the fact that she feels "sorry" for Tiger's wife (then don't slam a married man stupid) also is shocked that he had so many mistresses.  Give me a break.  She also has confided to friends that she wants to be tested for STD's.  Must be the thing about a few of them being escorts, porn stars or full blown hookers.  Jesus woman, are you expecting sympathy???  The only person in this case that's going to get any is his WIFE!  Are you stupid Rachel?!?  What did you think you were the exclusive "other woman"?  If he'd cheat on his wife, he'd cheat on your worthless skank ass...and sure as hell did.  Milk your five minutes of fame and begone like Spitzer's whore, what's her name.

Shawne Merriman fights back!

Shawne Merriman is not taking crap from a skank!   Now as you may recall a few months ago Tila Tequila accused Merriman of assaulting her at his home and had some small black and blue marks to "prove" it. Cause lord knows she'd never tell an untruth for publicity. Big shock, the charges were dropped for lack of evidence. Not even considering the fact that this man is a San Diego Charger and if he attacked her she would have had alot more to worry about than a black and blue mark (read: not even dental records could have ID'd her), lets consider Shawne's (pretty damn plausable) account of what happened. In a nutshell, she was at his place, she was drunk off her ass (Tequila indeed!), she tried to get into her car to drive home, he had to restrain her from killing herself or someone else. I know which version I think has the ring of truth. As a thank you for possibly saving her clearly worthless life, she's been bad mouthing him left right and center accusing him of such tried and true favorites as beating her (yeah, like her 85 cent frame could have withstood a single blow), sleeping with underage girls and making drugs in his home.  Hell, I'm surprised he didn't kill her lying ass.  She's damaged his reputation cost him a t-shirt deal with Walmart and stole his logo to use of her damn website.  Screw her to the wall Shawne!...but not literally if you know what I mean.  You don't need skank STD.

Adam Lambert is an "artist"*

Adam Lambert has been interviewed by Barbara Walters as one of her most interesting people (ie:  fame whores who will do anything for attention that they will eventually blame on drunk mommy who never hugged and abusive daddy who "touched them in a bad place").  Here's what the little pervert had to say about the controversy (that he's still milking for every second of air time it's worth) from his AMA performance:
"I don't think that you can really... jump to conclusions about me as an artist (yes...yes I can.) based on one performance. That's an ignorant thing to do." (as opposed to what you did???)

The important thing here is that we all learn from the wisdom af Lambert.  Remember,  if you don't want yourself or your children exposed to sexual vulgarity during prime time hours on national T.V. by a person who is supposed to represent 1.2% of the American population...then you're ignorant...and intolerant...and a homophobe.  It's got nothing to do with the publicity does it Lamby?

*sick pervert.

Tiger Woods isn't Congressional gold medal material???

Tiger will not be getting a gold medal from congress.  That idea is deader than his marriage.  TMZ reports:

Earlier today, Representative Joe Baca (D-Calif) released a statement saying, "In light of the recent developments surrounding Tiger Woods and his family, I will not pursue legislation awarding him the Congressional Gold Medal this session."


Baca had previously submitted a bill to give Woods the award in recognition of his "service to the Nation in promoting excellence and good sportsmanship, and in breaking barriers with grace and dignity by showing that golf is a sport for all people."

Well dignity and grace went out the window when we hit whore #6.  As for barriers, I don't know  but I do know that he's about to break the man-whore barrier!  A record previously unbroken since Ron Jeremy broke it in 1979.  Keep reaching for the stars Tiger!

Nicky Hilton gets robbed.

Nicky is the latest victim in the string of burglaries targeting celebrities.  Several items were taken but have not been identified yet (which means they'll probably show up on the internet).  Paris was not happy and let it be known through Twitter:

"It's unbelievable how my sister called the cops over an hour ago and they still haven't shown up," she wrote around 3:30 PM PST. "Her house just got robbed, so messed up."




"I HATE people who steal! It's so wrong! I hope they catch whoever did this! There has (sic) been so many robberies lately. So scary!"

Can't say I blame them for being pissed.  I guess that "Burglar Bunch" have a few copycats.   I'd like to know how they're getting through the alarm systems.  You people do turn them ON......don't you???

TLC made Kate Gosselin's kids cry.

Barbara Walters interviewed Kate Gosselin and it was very heartwarming. Kate says that the children have been crying since the cameras and crews left after the loss of the show. I suppose I can understand that they have been around forever. Maybe I'm a bit cynical but I think what she meant to say was that she and John have been crying now that the cash fountain has come to an end. Nice job with the self destruct job guys. I'm sure they'll be ok though. They may be divorced but they'll find another way exploit their kids. I have faith.

Garorade drops Tiger Woods Gator drink.

Gaytorade is discontinuing the Tiger Woods Focus drink. They told TMZ that the decision has nothing to do with his current dilema. Gatorade says the decision was made months ago and the timing is coincidence. Uh, yeah Gatorade that sounds totally plausable. The way this scandal is going it wouldn't surprise me if Tiger banged half the wives \ daughters \ girlfriends of the Gatorade board of directors! Somebody find out what the hell this guy is eating!!!

Alexa Ray Joel out of the hospital.

Alexa, the daughter of Billy Joel and Christy Brinkley is home from the hospital after being admitted for an overdose.  It is not certain at this time whether it was an accident for whether it was a suicide attempt.  She's with her family now and thanks fans for their outpouring of love.  I really hope this wasn't a suicide attempt, she seems like a very nice girl.  Get well Alexa.

Another Family Ties cast member shows up in the news.

It's like they want us to know where they are now.  Last week Meridith Baxter comes out as gay an now Brian Bonsall (he played Andy the really annoying kid near the end of the series).  Brian has a bit of a violent streak.  MSNBC reports:

Police said Monday that 28-year-old Brian Bonsall got into a fight at an apartment on Saturday and hit a friend with part of a broken wooden stool.


Bonsall allegedly told officers he had been drinking and didn't remember what happened.

If that's not enough for you the little bugger was already on probation for assaulting his girlfriend two years ago and has been accused of violating said probation.  Way to go Brian!  You've joined the official ranks of child stars who got f'd up in Hollywood!  I don't think we've seen the last of this dude.

Tiger's mother in law keels over.

Tiger's mother in law Barbro Holmberg was rushed to the hospital this morning complaining of stomach pains.  Paramedics took her to the hospital where she is currently undergoing tests.  I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.  Were I the mother in law I'd be pretty sick to my stomach as well.  Hell, I'm still trying to figure out exactly how many women this dude's been with!  I know it's at least 6 with more coming out of the woodwork every day.  This of course begs the question: "How the hell did he keep this sh*t quiet for so damn long!?!"

Twilight: Breaking Dawn e-mail scam.

I suppose it's my ethical duty to report this.   I know there are those of you who are, how shall I put this, BAT SH*T INSANE when it comes to Twilight.  So listen up.

There's a ass load of e-mails going around the net advertising casting calls for the next Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn.  Much like the President of Nigeria, they want you  to send money to be registered at a website and the fake walk on roles will pay $80 - $250 depending on the role.  Do not fall for this and make me loose what little hope I have for the future.

Lana Veenker, casting director had this to say:

“First of all, I knew it wasn’t credible because ‘Breaking Dawn’ doesn’t go into production for several months, so no casting director would have been hired yet,” says casting director Lana Veenker, who handled Northwest casting on the first “Twilight” film. “Also, the shoot location hasn’t even been announced! How would anyone even know which city or country to be casting in?”


“People who take advantage of kids like this, who prey on their hopes and dreams, truly raise my ire,” she said in a statement released to Access. “I get thousands of letters and e-mails from ‘Twilight’ fans who would do just about anything for a walk-on part in one of the sequels. It scares me to think of what the low-lives out there could do to hurt such easy targets.”

Does this mean that Twilight is bigger than Harry Potter?  Cause I don't remember this sh*t when that film came out.

Miley Cyrus gets a tattoo for all you sicko's out there interested.

Miley was spotted wearing a bikini yesterday with a tattoo under her left breast that says "Just Breathe" I was going to say somebody has seen the movie "Ever After" too many times but I doubt if she's seen it.  It is interesting to note that this is the same tattoo that Lindsay Lohan has on her wrist.  I really hope this is not what it looks like.  Please tell me Miley doesn't want to be the next Lindsay (although we will be needing a replacement pretty soon from the looks of it).   This isn't Miley's first tattoo and soon she will be getting one with her mother how sweet.  She told OK Magazine:

“My mom’s going to get a ribcage tattoo that is definitely the biggest tattoo she’s ever gotten,” he said. “I’m definitely proud of her for that. It will definitely be a little bit different of an experience for me. I’ve never gone to get a tattoo with my mom ever. She’s taken me to get a tattoo but we’ve never both gotten one at the same time.”


....uh.....yeah.  They sound totally normal to me!  Hey!  Get something pierced while you're there!  You and mom will get a discount!!!

Ok, so now Tiger's mistress DID do it...so much for deny everything.

Well at first she did but now Rachel Uchitel has turned 180 and now says that Tiger and her were doing the freak nasty.  TMZ reports:

Sources say less than an hour before Tiger's accident, Rachel and Tiger were texting each other. Elin confronted Tiger and asked whom he was texting. She grabbed the phone and we're told she called Rachel to confront her. According to sources, Tiger and Elin began arguing and the phone broke in the process.




We're also told there was damage as a result of the altercation in the vestibule area of Tiger's home -- damage that cannot be easily repaired, and that is why Tiger would not let police come in.

Good lord man!  Elin broke your phone, your house AND your car Tiger???  I heard of hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned  but Jesus man!  Did you know she was capable of this kind of destruction BEFORE the marriage?  Give her whatever she wants man if you value your life!

No cash for you Jon Gosselin!

I know it's going to ruin your Super Bowl but you won't be seeing Jon Gosselin in any commercials. I know I'm sad too, pass me a bud. Looks like Jon was getting lined up for not one but two commercial spots but got deep sixed by TLC. His attorney won't say exactly what TLC did to kill it but I'm willing to bet there was some heavy intimidation involved. Obiviously Jon is not happy. Too bad, so sad Jon. Now go do something useful like fade into obscurity. Heh,heh.

Susan Boyle shatters the competition...like a wine glass being hit by a very high note.

I must say I wasn't a fan of Susan Boyle at first, then I decided to sit down and listen to her sing.  Holy Crap!!!  She's incredible!  Her album "I Dreamed A Dream" has come in number one for women's debut album selling 700,00 copies!  Jesus Susan, when you say you dreamed a dream, you really got it didn't you??? 

Good Luck Susan, more power to you!!!

More Tiger Woods...because nothing else seems to matter today.

Now plenty of celebrities have had affairs and/or crash their cars so I don't see what the hell is so big about Tiger's incident but it's all I can find today!  Jesus, Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Love are still out there doing lord knows what!....DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE???

So, Tiger posted an apology (why is he apologizing to me?  he didn't bang my mom...DID HE???)

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.


Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.

But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don't share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one's own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions.

Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it's difficult.

I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.

Tiger, rule #1:  Deny everything!!!  Nobody is going to believe the collection of whores coming out of the woodwork saying they slept with you!  Deny! Deny! Deny!  Ok, so maybe it's too late now but remember next time man!

Meredith Baxter is a lesbian now. Jump on the bandwagon!

Meredith Baxter (who played the mother Elyse Keaton on the 80's sitcom Family Ties) revealed to Matt Lauer that she is "a later in life recognition" that she is a lesbian.  This after three marriages and five children.    Baxter said that she "came out" because the National Enquirer has pictures of her on a lesbian cruise and she wanted to break it before they did. 

Uh, yeah ok. However I will say that this one is a bit more believable than the Lindsay Lohan thing. Still looks like a ploy for attention to me.