The Control Room - Celebrity News and News of Interest: 2008

Friday, October 3, 2008

Sarah Palin delivers a big load of smackdown on Joe Biden

I didn't want to get into the whole political thing because I hate that with celebrity websites. However, I have to reverse my decision here. The media and websites like perezhilton.com, tmz.com, okmagazine.com etc have been so unfairly slamming Sarah Palin that I can't remain silent any longer. Obama is the media's creation so it's in their best interest to get him elected. Not to mention that Governor Palin is the embodiment of everything that Hollywood stars and other liberals despise...she's a woman with a career who is happily married and likes having a family...shocker.

But I digress.

Not only was I impressed with Sarah Palin last night I think it was pretty obvious that she threw a few things at Biden that he didn't expect. For example, getting him to admit that he and Obama don't support gay marriage was a brilliant tactical maneuver.

Hey Perez! Did you know that about your precious golden boy you fat fuck!?!

She's down to earth, answers questions directly (instead of talking around them like Biden) and is very warm and personal. She genuinely has the best interest of the nation at heart and if she were to become president I don't think this country could be in better hands.

Friday, August 29, 2008

David Ducovny is "addicted"???

Now it's nothing new for a celebrity to go into rehab. Hell, they've made a whole damn reality show based on it! Everyone's in it for drugs or alcohol...except David Ducovny. If you can believe this one he's checked himself into rehab for sex addiction. Yes, you heard that one correctly. Ducovny is a sex addict.

David, I'd like to speak to you frankly here.

A. As far as addictions are concerned this is the kind of problem you want to have.

B. Your wife is Tea Leoni. This is not an addiction that needs to be treated with drugs. This is an addiction that needs to be treated...with sex. A great deal of sex. As often as is humanly possible for as long as it takes.

Let's let the healing begin David.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Jennifer Garner is GUESS WHAT!!!

She's pregnant too. Ok, that's it. I'm taking the rest of the day off there's nothing left here. I'm practically praying for somebody to get busted for DUI here people!

(photo from newchatter.com)

Ok, this is getting out of control.

Angie Harmon's pregnant. This will be her 3rd child with her husband Jason Sehorn. This rampant reproduction is now offically getting out of control. When the hell did this become a trend???

Matt Damon need to grow a pair.

I can see where this day is going. Damon and his wife Luciana Barroso have announced the birth of their daughter Gia Zavala (good one Matt I can see your wife is calling the shots). This brings him up to three daughters. Isabella is 2 and Alexia is 10. Alexia of course not being the fruit of his loins she is Luciana's daughter through a previous marriage. Hang on a sec, Luciana's only 32 and has had a previous marriage. This chick is increasingly sounding like someone Matt shouldn't have married.

Matt will be taking time off from making movies. When asked he told OK! Magazine:

"[Luciana asked me] to take a break from work," Matt has said. "She saw a pile of scripts, and when I told her they were the movies I was supposed to shoot in the fall, she asked me if I still wanted to be her husband."

I don't know Matt maybe what you should have said was "DO YOU ENJOY THE LIFESTYLE I PROVIDE YOU??? YES? THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

In case you're thinking I'm being a little harsh this bitch was a bartender when he met her and most likely a slut. I'd say she prefers limos and mansions wouldn't you? The messed up part is either way she's set for life now. Divorces are so lucrative.

Yep, Ricky Martin's as gay as Clay Aiken.

Ricky's playing for another team but rather than admit it he's chosen to attempt to cover it up by having children...with a surrogate mother. Yep, Ricky's got twin boys who were born a few weeks ago and didn't have to go through all that annoying sex to get them. I believe Angelina Jolie's also familiar with this method. A statement released says that Ricky will be spending the rest of the year out of the public eye (he was in it???) to spend time with his boys. Wow Ricky, a whole half a year? I'm glad to see his maternal instincts have fully developed.

(photo from wireimage)

Monday, August 18, 2008

This better be a sick joke.

Lohan is converting to Judaism because that's the religion of her "girlfriend" Samantha. I'm going to make my position 100% clear on this one. Lindsay! You are NOT a lesbian, you are NOT a Jew and you are NOT revitalizing your career with this shit! We're getting tired of it!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

China pulls an Ashlee Simpson!

Remember that adorable kid in singing the Chinese national anthem at the Olympic opening ceremonies. She was lip-syncing! Why? Because the girl who actually was singing WASN'T CUTE ENOUGH! Holy crap China, you guys are cold. CNN reports:

Games organizers confirm that Lin Miaoke, who performed "Ode to the Motherland" as China's flag was paraded Friday into Beijing's National Stadium, was not singing at all.

Lin was lip-syncing to the sound of another girl, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi, who was heard but not seen, apparently because she was deemed not cute enough.

"The reason was for the national interest," said Chen Qigang, the ceremony's musical director, in a state radio interview. "The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feeling and expression. ... Lin Miaoke is excellent in those aspects."

The decision was made at the highest levels, Chen said.

"We had to do it," he said. "We'd been through several inspections. They're all very strict. When we rehearsed at the spot, there were several spectators from various divisions, especially leaders from the Politburo, who gave the opinion it must change."

But as word has gotten out on the Internet, some Chinese bloggers are outraged.

"If you're not good-looking, no matter how well you sing, you'll not be onstage. Do you know you're twisting a whole generation?" read one comment.

Another said, "If foreigners found out, they'd think we can't even find a girl who is good at both."

That's pretty messed up China, way to make this girl feel like deformed freak. One more thing China, when it comes to putting attractive people with no talent onstage you're muscling in on OUR ACTION MAN!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Issac Hayes passes away.

Music legend Isaac Hayes passed away this weekend as well. He was found lying on the floor next to a treadmill in his Memphis home. He was 65. Police do not suspect foul play. Hayes was an extremely talent performer who could do both music and acting. If you have never seen Escape from New York, rent it. His character, much like the man was larger than life. He will also be forever known as the voice of Chef from South Park where he found a whole new generation of fans until his falling out with the show's creators.

Hayes is survived by 12 children and 16 grandchildren.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Bernie Mac passes away.

Mac passed away today in Chicago from complications due to pneumonia. He was 50 years old. A career cut far too short. Bernie's comedy drew on a number of experiences from his childhood and he was no stranger to controversy. In just a few years this amazingly talented man became a household name.

George Clooney has said that with Bernie's passing the world "became a little less funny". I have to respectfully disagree I think the world became a lot less funny. Even in movies where he was supporting actor such as Charlie's Angels, Bad Santa and Transformers he managed to steal every scene he was in. I don't think it was possible to not like him.

Your talent and charisma were second to none. Goodbye Bernie, you will be very sorely missed.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Clay Aiken becomes a true Hollywood renegade!!!

Clay Aiken's son has arrived. He and his partner Jaymes Foster brought the little dude into the world this morning. Clay took the time to update his blog about it and this is what he had to say:

"Parker was born at a hospital in North Carolina just this morning at 8:08 a.m. Wow...8:08...08/08/08," he wrote, adding that little Parker tipped the scales at 6 pounds, 2 ounces and measured in at 19 inches.

Which is all well and good but since this is breedfest 08' and anybody who is anybody is banging out children by fair means or foul you're going to need something to stand out from the pack of Knox's, Ever Gabo's, Levi's, Harlow Winter's and Sunday Rose's. This is where Clay shows his true genius. He gave the kid A NORMAL NAME. I shit you not. Here's how he put it:

"My dear friend, Jaymes, and I are so excited to announce the birth of Parker Foster Aiken (No hyphens. One first name. One middle name. One last name)."

My God man. That takes stones of steel to go up against the Hollywood elite machine like that. A 100% totally normal, non-embarassing name that won't leave in need of therapy (i.e. Ritalin)

Awesome Clay, you rock but you better watch your back. You know what happens when you defy Angelina.

PBS wants to make Mister Rogers go away.

PBS, you've gone waaaaaaay too far this time.

After decades of syndication and hundred of shows PBS wants to shut down the Neighborhood of Make Believe. Starting in September these public television Nazis intend to stop showing it in and instead regulate it to one episode per week. The one normal children's program on the air and they want to tank it. I don't think I need to get into the impact that Mister Rogers made on all of our lives and I don't think I need to get into how myself and everyone else felt when he died. What I do need to say is this: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM PBS, NOT MAKING ENOUGH MONEY??? Unlike Hannah Montana, Mister Rogers' face isn't smeared all over the landscape on every sell able product humanly imaginable! What the hell are you going to replace him with??? The Teletubbies? How about Barney? Oh wait I got it the Doodlebops right?!?

If this ticks you off too and you don't want to see this crime against humanity happen then click onto http://savemisterrogers.com/ and join the fight to save Mister Rogers!

Mister Rogers was always there for us, now it's our turn to be there for him.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Candy (still eatin' too much of it) Spelling to write book

Lord knows why but Candy Spelling obviously needs more money since Aaron's money and her non-stop casino winnings are clearly not enough. She's told Entertainment Tonight that she's going to write a "tell all" book containing things that she's never "told anyone" before. This should make for a thoroughly gripping read. Maybe she can let me help with the title. How about "Please fork over $30 for this book so I can get fatter and you can read boring stories that weren't even good 50 years ago when they happened" by Candy Spelling or maybe "Just rubbing it in your face a little more Tori dear" by Tori Spelling or my personal favorite "SUCKERS!!!" by Candy Spelling. I can keep going all night on this one folks.

...look at that picture up there people...wow...not a good looking woman. Sorry, had to get that off my chest.

Feds close case on Heath Ledger...insert conspiracy theory here.

The Feds have called off the investigation on Heath Ledger's death. People magazine reports:

The U.S. Attorney's Office closed its investigation into Heath Ledger's accidental overdose death and will not enforce a subpoena against Mary-Kate Olsen, a law-enforcement source tells PEOPLE.

The probe was closed without any charges being filed. Olsen, 22, was subpoenaed by a federal grand jury on April 23, but her attorney had been in negotiations with federal authorities since then, the source says. Olsen had wanted immunity before testifying. Olsen's attorney released a statement saying the actress "had nothing to do" with Ledger's drugs and had already provided "relevant information" to investigators. The U.S. Attorney's Office and Olsen's rep both declined to comment.

I'm expecting about 12 million conspiracy theories on how Heath Ledger "really died". Now I don't know what all this Olsen shit was but the Feds seem to think it was nothing if they're dropping it. Probably some sort of stupid publicity stunt. Sometimes famous people die tragically in accidents but I don't expect the tabloids to buy that one when there are papers to sell and no name assholes who didn't even know Heath who are working on their "tell all" novels as we speak. I expect the future publications to both make millions for these vultures and make me sick.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Scarlett Johansson is an idiot.

Scarlett's back and she seems to be on a crusade to spout insane gibberish out of her cake hole. She talked to Entertainment Tonight and here's what she had to say about her engagement to a Canadian:

I'm very excited," the Vicky Cristina Barcelona star, 23, tells Entertainment Tonight Canada in an interview airing Tuesday. "I've had wonderful times in Canada. It's a lovely country. It's a beautiful country and hopefully I'll be able to get through immigration faster now!"

When jokingly told by ET Canada's Roz Weston that Reynolds, 31, is "a prince up there," Johansson responded, "Wow. That's fantastic. Do I get anything from it?" Weston quipped that Johansson may receive a crown "made out of beaver" or "possible moose," to which Johansson responded, "Okay, that's creepy – an animal on my head. If it's alive, maybe. Um, I guess so. I don't know! I'll take it!”

Wow. Like Jesus Christ dude you ARE fucking stupid. Scarlett please move to Canada since you love it there so much. Maybe they can handle your level of stupidity but I don't feel that America can anymore.

Scarlett Johansson is still delusional.

Remember when Scarlett was going on about her "special" relationship with Obama until he decided he'd had enough to her crazy statements to the press and told them "I don't know what this bitch is talking about". Well it only took her little air filled head a couple of months to come up with a response and here it is, eonline reports:

Scarlett Johansson apparently never had a crush on Barack Obama. Or at least in the way some media outlets have made it out to be.

In fact, the actress believes all the attention surrounding her recent comments about an email relationship with the Democratic presidential hopeful reeks of "extreme sexism."

"I kept thinking to myself, 'God, if this was just, like, Kal Penn or George Clooney or any of the other [Obama] surrogates or supporters...there wouldn't be [any] question about it" she tells the Associated Press. "Nobody would even talk about it."

Perhaps. But then again, that Kumar guy never claimed to have had a "personal dialogue" with the Illinois senator, only to have him say that he had replied to just one email which had been forwarded to him by an assistant.

Let me make sure I've got this straight. Your response to Obama saying you're full of shit is that the press is extremely sexist for questioning their story which they didn't. THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING SENSE WHAT SO EVER!!!

Man I used to think this chick was hot but I don't care how hot someone is when there's more than one person living inside that head and they're both confused, stay the hell away from me!

...and do something with that chin. You could put some body's eye with that.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Bernie Mac is in the hospital. What the hell is going on today???

Despite dramatic rumors about the state of his health, "Bernie Mac is still alive and being treated in a Chicago hospital for pneumonia and is expected to make a full recovery," his rep tells PEOPLE. "We once again ask that the press respect his privacy and that of his family," says Danica Smith.

The actor-comedian (real name: Bernard Jeffery McCullough), 50, was hospitalized in Chicago for pneumonia, Smith told PEOPLE on Friday. "Mr. Mac is responding well to treatment and will be released soon," she said in a statement. "He asked that his privacy and that of his family is respected while he gets well."

It was further stated that the pneumonia was not related to Mac's 2005 diagnosis of sarcoidosis, an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in organs such as the lungs or lymph nodes.

Jesus, they're dropping like flies in L.A. I hope you get better Bernie, you're one of he few comedians that's acutally funny. Good luck man, we're pulling for you.

Morgan Freeman in car crash.

Breaking with Hollywood tradition, Morgan Freeman was in a car crash over the weekend that did NOT involve alcohol in any way, shape or form. eonline reports:

The Oscar-winning Batman sidekick is listed in serious condition in a Memphis hospital following a Sunday night car accident, says hospital spokeswoman Kathy Stringer.

Mississippi Highway Patrol spokesman Ben Williams told Memphis' NBC affiliate that Freeman and an unidentified female passenger were heading east on state Highway 32 when his vehicle went off the road. Freeman then overcorrected the vehicle, causing his 1997 Nissan Maxima to flip several times before coming to a rest.

CBS' Memphis affiliate, WREG, reported that Freeman may have fallen asleep at the wheel. Rescue crews needed the jaws of life to free him from the vehicle, but he apparently was coherent enough to talk to state troopers at the scene.

Sounds like a bad one to me. I'll keep you posted.

Shie LeBeouf's hurt his hand a little bit worse than I thought.

Shia LaBeouf's injured hand is vulnerable to infections and other complications after last weekend's truck wreck, his lawyer tells the Associated Press, and we have the first pics of the actor's cast.

"Shia's left hand was crushed," his attorney Michael Norris says of the accident.
The 'Transformers' star was arrested after his crash on suspicion of drunk driving. He then underwent "extensive" hand surgery. On Tuesday, an LAPD spokesman told ET that Shia didn't cause the accident -- the other driver involved blew a red light.

Wow, good thing he was drunk cause that sounds like it hurt like hell!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.

We all love Johnny Depp. He's awesome and the word from http://www.hollywood.tv/ is that he's hooking up with Tim Burton again to do a version of Alice in Wonderland. They report:

JOHNNY DEPP is set for a trip to Wonderland, courtesy of director pal TIM BURTON.
The actor is to play the Mad Hatter in a new version of Alice in Wonderland, according to new reports.

The movie, which will hit cinema screens in 2010, will be directed by Burton. It will mark the seventh time he and Depp have worked together.

Their past successes have includedSweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Sleepy Hollow and Edward Scissorhands.

Now I love Tim Burton's gloomy ass movies but is it just me aren't they really just the same damn movie? Never the less, I think I might actually go to a theater and see this one. I love the story of Alice and Wonderland and Johnny Depp as a Burtonized, fucked up Mad Hatter sounds like something that might be worth paying to see.

Nick Hogan's having a tough time in jail! My heart bleeds.

Now that Nicks in the general population, let's intensify the sob story because HE'S the one that's suffering. Boo hoo. People magazine reports (with inserted commentary courtesy of me) :

"They had broken his spirit," (sniff, sob) Brooke Hogan, 20, tells PEOPLE. "When they put him in solitary, he was on the outs. I was worried about him, and his safety, and his well-being (I know Brooke. It keeps me up at nights too)." But now that Nick's out of a 28-day stint in solitary where he was rapidly losing weight, and in the general population (he's gotta be lovin' that!) with more privileges (like rape!), he's turning back into the little brother she knew (the kind that drinks, drag races and gets people brain damage???).

"We get to visit him three times a week like everybody else (when we have the time), but it sucks," she says. "I can't just walk over to his room and give him a hug, or talk to him, or confide in him. ... At least he's not locked in hell (have you ever been there???) , basically. And his personality is slowly coming back. I bring that out of him (no comment)." Nick, who just turned 18, is serving an eight-month jail sentence for reckless driving in an August 2007 car accident in Clearwater, Fla., that left friend John Graziano incapacitated for life. (incapacitated??? He's got a fucking hole in his fucking HEAD!)

Brooke, who is currently starring in her own reality show, Brooke Knows Best (I wouldn't bet on that one) , on VH1 says her brother's fame (???) has caused him trouble (it's not "fame" causing him trouble in jail Brooke, it's called prison justice) in jail – but nothing he can't handle (WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!!!) . "He's been threatened," she says. "Thank God he's big and he can hold his own." (BIG??? Look at the picture Brooke! I could beat this dude up!)

Monday, July 28, 2008

Jerry O'Connell knocks up Rebecca Romijn. Kudos to you man!

Well I suppose it was only a question of time. Jerry O'Connell got his wife pregnant and his super sperm got her some twins. The Huffington Post reports:

Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell will soon be on double diaper duty.

Us Weekly has learned that Romijn, 35, and O'Connell, 34, are expecting twins this winter.
A spokesman for the couple confirmed the news Monday morning.

The babies will be the first children for the pair.

God two Jerry??? Why two? Get ready for some serious stress my friend. I know she's hot and all but it's not worth that man!

Sean Bean gets arrested for assaulting his wife...man, I warned you about that fucking ring!

Why didn't you listen to me Sean! I fucking warned you about that shit! eonline reports:

Lord of the Rings and National Treasure star Sean Bean was released Friday from a London jail, where he was held overnight for allegedly assaulting his new bride.

Police arrested the 49-year-old actor at his north London home after receiving a phone call from Bean's wife of four months, Georgina, who claimed he assaulted her during an argument. He was detained for several hours, released on bail and told no further action would be taken.

"Everything is okay. Sean and I are at home together enjoying the sunshine," Georgina, 29, told reporters. "He was arrested, but everything was blown out of proportion...There's no problem between us."

The newlyweds were seen smiling and holding hands on Saturday.

This is Bean's fourth marriage.

Sean, maybe marriage isn't for you...just a thought.

Nick Hogan turn 18 yay!!!......oh wait a sec.

Our old buddy Nick "it's everyone else's fault" Hogan (Bollea) turned 18 on Sunday and the state of California had a very special present for him...being put into general population with the rest of the convicts. This should prove interesting. I wish I could have sympathy for this dude but he doesn't have any for his John Graziano. Just a whiny rich kid trying to get off because nothing is his fault. Have fun Nick! To borrow a phrase from your fucked up father "I'm sure this is God's will to make you a better person". HA HA HA HA!!!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Joker gets arrested for groping an underage girl.

Ok, it's really Andy Dick but c'mon people look at the picture! Eonline reports:

The arrest-prone actor was busted in Murietta, Calif., early this morning on felony charges of sexual battery, possession of a controlled substance, possession of marijuana and public intoxication after allegedly groping and exposing a 17-year-old restaurant patron.

The arresting officer, Lt. Dennis Vrooman, told E! News he picked up the actor at 1:13 a.m. today outside the Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant and bar after receiving a complaint about a man urinating outside and generally causing a disturbance.

I don't even know how this dude is ever allowed to roam free in the first place. He really creeps me (and I think alot of other people too) out! This is not the face of a normal man, this is the face of one crazy fuck.

Miley Cyrus wants to do a G-Rated Sex and the City...WTF???

If you can figure out a script for that one please LET ME KNOW! MSNBC reports:

It’s getting harder and harder to figure out the real Miley Cyrus. Is she a controversy-courting star or just another cherub-cheeked Disney kid? In her latest interview with TV Guide, the 15-year-old keeps the lines blurred.

In the past, Miley confessed to a love for the oh-so-adult “Sex and the City,” though according to her mother, it’s the edited for primetime version that holds her daughter’s interest. Now the teen tells TV Guide she’d “love to do a younger, cleaner version of ‘Sex and the City.’”

Just how the “Hannah Montana” actress plans to pull off a younger and cleaner version of a show about a quartet of girlfriends who share their kinkiest relationship details isn’t quite clear, but don’t count on her to clear it up.

Clean soft porn, huh??? Ok people I want you to re-read those paragraphs because I think my higher brain functions have seized up. Miley, you're becoming quite the hypocritical slut. Kudos to you! You're fulfilling your Disney destiny! They must be so proud. Do you smell that?...smells like Selma Gomez getting geared up to replace your self destructed ass. You know even Lindsay managed to hold it together until her LATE teens before self destructing. Just thought I'd mention it.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Peter Cook still wants to be friends...WTF???

Peter Cook still wants to be friends with Christie Brinkley. I'm sure she'll be down with that. Access Hollywood reports:

Peter Cook still wants to be friends with ex-wife Christie Brinkley, he told the New York Post.
After five days of divorce court that ended with a surprise settlement, Cook doesn’t seem to have hard feelings for the former supermodel. (why the hell would HE have hard feelings??? He fucked HER over!)

“I’ll never regret marrying her. We had a great time for 10 years. I’ve got two beautiful children,” he said, accompanied by new girlfriend Suzanne Shaw. (I'm surprised you can hang on to a girlfriend after revealing in court that you're a pervert)

He also told the Post that someday he hoped he and Brinkley could give away daughter Sailor, 10, at her wedding together. (keep dreaming Pete)

The trial found Cook admitting to having an affair with then-18-year-old Diana Bianchi (smooth) and spending thousands of dollars on Internet porn (smoother). He received a $2.1 million settlement, with custody of the couple’s two children, Jack, 13, and Sailor going to Brinkley.

I don't know what kind of stuff this dude is on but man that's some potent shit.

Pictures of Jolie children worth more than your life.

Man, I didn't know that having a uterus could be so profitable. Now we all know that stars selling their babies pictures is big money these days but it looks like the Jolie kids could break all previous records. The pics of her first kid Shiloh went for a cool 4 million dollars but pics for the twins could fetch an estimated 15 - 20 million. People, that's fucking crazy. They say that the money is going to go to charity and that's all well and good but 15 - 20 million for having a c-section??? Are you people fucking nuts?!?

...so needless to say they already found a buyer. Unbelievable.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Angelina Jolie has her bastard children.

Well she did it. She popped em out and abosolutely will not give a fuck about them. God I hate this woman. Just get a poor American Angelina. You can hate them all the same. If you can you bitch.

Friday, July 11, 2008

That bitch Jessica Alba's pimping her kid too.

id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ok Magazine is paying Jessica Alba 1.5 million dollars for exclusive photos of her baby as well as exclusive photos for a future "event" (major holiday or vacation photos). I got to give Jessica credit...she held out a FULL two weeks before taking the cash. It's amazing to me how much money having an illegitimate child can earn you. What the hell happened to this country? I don't know what's worse, the fact that no one even thinks twice about this sort of thing any more because "everyone's doing it" or people seem to think that this is something to be proud of.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Christie Brinkley gets a settlement in her divorce.

Things finally went well for Christie, for the most part at court today. She did get sole custody of her 2 children as well as sole authority on how they are raised. She also gets to keep all 18 properties that were being disputed. However, and here's the kicker, for some reason I have yet to understand she has to pay this douche Cook 2.1 million. I imaging it's for agreeing to the settlement but man it's pretty messed up that she has to give this cheating pervert sicko anything at all. I guess he has to recoup all of the money he blew on porn, hush money and gifts for underage whores. I didn't know you could expense that, I need to talk to my accountant.

Access Hollywood asked Christie if she planned on dating again and she responded "we'll see how the summer goes". Christie...seriously here, you know I love you but with the exception of possibly a celebrity blogger I don't think it would be such a good for you to date. After 4 suck ass marriages I've come to the conclusion that you should not date. It's nothing personal but you have LOUSY taste in men. You're a jerk magnet and each one is getting worse than the last. This one took the prize. Have a fling if you want but for the love of God, no more relationships!

Hey! Let's glamorize teen pregnancy!!!

Well, Jamie Lynn Spears' mom whored her daughters out so why not continue that noble tradition with OK magazine! They've got an exclusive (paid through the nose) interview with America's most beloved teen role model! Let's check some bits out shall we?:

The younger sister of Britney Spears (damn woman you're not even important enough to have your own NAME!) tells OK! that being away from the shining lights of Hollywood is making it all easier to learn the ins and outs of first-time motherhood. "Around here, everyone has the same focus," (inbreeding?) Jamie Lynn tells OK!. "The focus is family, and that's a good way to live." I(how old are you?)

"They'd told me it would be an eight- to 12-hour labor, and I was ready to have the baby in three to four hours," (but they induced your labor so I'm not so sure if that estimate counts) Jamie Lynn tells OK!. "I had a perfect pregnancy and a perfect delivery. I was very blessed." (yes, all 16-17 year olds should be so "blessed")

While the former (emphasis on former) Zoey 101 star and her fiancé have not yet set a date for their wedding (and never will), the couple remains closer than ever (get the fuck out of my house). Jamie Lynn, who tells OK! that while her labor was induced, she gave birth naturally (as opposed to unnaturally?) and without complications, says that Casey was the one person she wanted in the delivery room with her. "Once I got in there, my doctor was just so calm and so good it was not bad at all," she says. "I was just talking to Casey. And you know what's so weird? I was asking him if he was okay. He was like, 'Yeah.' We were both so excited." (to have ruined our lives and/or careers)

"She is very good," says Jamie Lynn. "She'll feed every two or three hours. (it's so much fun every time I'm trying to fucking relax!) When she wakes up in the middle of the night (I want to kill her), I'll feed her and she goes right back to sleep. There's no screaming and crying." (hard to scream when you're being smothered)

"We get up in the morning, and she gets her little bath. Then I get my bath. (nothing like babies having babies) We have a routine, and I love routines. (too easy, next) I've worked one out with her, and we're happy going about our little life." (and how little it is Jamie, how very little)

Even if you didn't know who Jamie Lynn Spears was reading these little nuggets of wisdom would tell anyone that we are dealing with a child who has no clue what she has done to her life. I wonder when she's going to give an exclusive interview on everything that newborn babies do that make you want to throw them out the fucking window. I can't wait to look at the national statistics just to see how many teens follow her fine example.

Keep working America! Teen mothers on welfare are depending on you!!!

...fucking worthless maggots.

Ok Nicole I get the name thing now.

As I previously posted Nicole Kidman gave her daughter a traditional stupid Hollywood name. It appears that I may have been rash in my judgement and that this name may have meaning after all. Her middle name Rose (the normal name) was for her husband's grandmother. Simple enough. Now the kid's first name Sunday can have two meanings depending on who you talk to. If you talk to Nicole, Sunday was the first name of an early 20th century artistic muse (no, I've never heard of her either) if you talk to her friends Sunday is an insult to Tom Cruise because Nicole is a religious woman and Sundays were always important to her until Tom and his Xenu express fouled everything up. Either way, it's something I can understand. Thank you for clearing that up Nicole. My faith is restored.

...although one can't help but to wonder what a future conversation with your daughter might be like. Maybe:

Sunday: "Mommy, how did I get my name?"

Nicole: "Well mommy did that to bitch slap mommy's first husband who was a alien worshipping freak who didn't have what it took to knock up mommy but did to knock up some no talent strumpet!"

Sunday: "ok mommy."

...precious.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Nicole Kidman has a baby girl.

Nicole Kidman had her baby girl today in Nashville. She is said to be doing very well. Now I know I spend a lot of time blogging and being a cynical son of a bitch but I'd like to wish Nicole Kidman and her husband Keith Urban the very best of luck and congratulations. I know how badly she wanted this baby and now she's the happiest woman in the world.

(photo from nicole-kidman.us)

*UPDATE: Sunday Rose?!? You named the kid Sunday fucking Rose??? God damn it Kidman! I thought you were the normal one! What the hell is it with famous people and their obsession with seeing who can give their kid the most asinine name they could think of! Fuck!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

One person proves me wrong...oh wait, no she doesn't.

Well holy crap, an American actress who cases about Americans! Jane Krakowski stars in Kit Kittredge: An American Girl and is appearing on the NYC stage in the musical Damn Yankees is in Louisiana working with Habitat for Humanity and helping to build homes for people who lost theirs in hurricane Katrina wait a sec, how many years ago was that storm? It's been 3 fucking years Hollywood and you're noticing NOW??? What the hell do we have to do to get you to give a shit about your own people have a fucking genocide?!?!?!?

(photo from okmagazine.com. By the way OK I like the title of your article "Jane Krakowski gives back". I've got a better one. How about "Jane Krakowski gives back a day late and a dollar fucking short" or maybe "Jane Krakowski needs publicity badly and doesn't understand what current events are". Yeah, that could work. You're welcome Hollywood.)

Ben Affleck becomes like everyone else in Hollywood.

Matt Damon and a bunch of other Hollywood hot shots went to Las Vegas to compete in a celebrity game of Texas Hold'em at the Rio Pavillion to benefit the victims of Darfur region of Sudan.

Now I'm going to have to sound like a bastard here for saying anything about a humanitarian effort here but I'd like to mention another humanitarian effort that no one in Hollywood wants to even acknowledge even exists...Americans. Why the hell is it that nobody famous wants to help their own people? I turn on the TV and all I see is stars flying all over the world to help all the world to help people in some country in the middle of nowhere but NEVER do I see a single one of them helping people in the country where they made their millions. Americans can't be poor too? Americans can't suffer? I guess there's no such thing after all I don't think Angelina Jolie is ever going to adopt an AMERICAN crack baby (remember they don't exist) but if she found one in Africa she'd grab it so fast it would make your head spin. Fuck you Hollywood you bunch of stuck up self righteous fucks.

(photo from people.com...my nausea from utter disgust)

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Tatum O'Neal gets the friggin book thrown at her!

Super rough celebrity justice baby! etonline reports:

Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Elisa Koenderman ordered O'Neal to spend two half-day sessions in a drug treatment program and pay a $95 fee. If she complies, she will get a conditional discharge and the conviction will be erased if she stays out of trouble for one year.
The Oscar-winning actress, daughter of actor Ryan O'Neal, was arrested June 1 on suspicion of buying cocaine on a Manhattan street. She was the youngest person ever to win an Academy Award for 'Paper Moon' in 1973 at age 10.

Holy crap dude! Not one but TWO HALF DAYS! Son of a bitch! Tatum! You gotta file an appeal against this ruling! This is a very clear case of cruel and ususual punishment! and you got to wait a whole year before the courts pretend that it never happened AND they hit you with a $95 dollar fee! No way dude! That's just insane.

It's The Contoller's boatload of human depravity!

This story keeps getting better and better. Michael Lohan is trying to make some bucks off of this kid too. TMZ reports:

Michael Lohan should be named father of the freakin' century. Now Daddy Trainwreck wants to cash in on his might-be illegitimate daughter, whether he's the daddy or not. We're hearing MiLo tried to seal the deal with at least two celeb weeklies over the results of his paternity: He's asking $10K for the story if he's not the dad -- and $20K if he is the dad. That's because he's also talking about selling the pictures of the first meeting between Lindsay and her new half-sister. People and OK! have politely declined his effed up offer.

And I thought this dude couldn't sink any lower. Yeah, this kid's not going to grow up messed up beyond all belief or anything. Guaranteed.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Heidi Montag wants to record a Christian album...God weeps.

Sure why not wake up one morning and decide to record a religious album? I think that's a great idea for a friggin idiot like Heidi Montag. USA Today reports:

The feminine half of “The Hills” power-couple Spencer and Heidi wants to record a Christian album, according to USA Today.

“I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God,” said Montag, who calls herself a “kind of non-denominational Baptist.”

Heidi, a reportedly regular Bible reader, once wanted to be a missionary. In August, she’ll get to fulfill part of that dream when she and Spencer travel to Africa to “feed children and help build things.”
Heidi’s faith has helped her weather the dramatic storms of “The Hills,” including the scandal over an alleged sex tape involving former friend Lauren Conrad.

“There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that,” Heidi said. “God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know?”

Now I want everyone to pay extra attention to that last sentence up there. Heidi Montag just compared herself to Jesus Christ. I love this woman! Open mouth insert stupid! Although if anyone does want to nail this clown to a tree I could be persuaded to look the other way.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Wow, there's a chance that Anne Hathaway might be a fucking bitch!

She might have ratted his ass out to the feds! The Daily News reports:

HOW EXACTLY did the feds "Get Smart" about Anne Hathaway's breakup with her troubled boyfriend?

A pal of jailed wheeler-dealer Raffaello Follieri suspects the starlet spoke with the FBI shortly before they arrested her ex for an alleged $6 million con job.

"It makes sense," the friend said. "She's referred to as his former girlfriend in the indictment even though her spokesman never confirmed they broke up."

Hathaway, who is not identified by name in the criminal complaint, split with Follieri shortly before his arrest last week. He is charged with posing as an agent of the Vatican to fleece investors out of millions.

"I think that in return for her cooperation, the feds held off on arresting Follieri until she was out of the country," the friend said.

Hathaway's camp has declined to comment on Follieri's legal troubles. The Italian businessman faces up to 20 years in federal prison if he's convicted of wire-fraud and money-laundering charges.

You know Anne, if I was with someone for 4 years I'd expect NOT to be sold out by the woman I'm sleeping with...I'm just saying.

Mini Me gets busted by the IRS! Nice job slick!!!

Wow first the worst sex tape ever made and now this. Verne Troyer, you need to get out of fucking Dodge. TMZ reports:

Verne Troyer might want to call his accountant -- he owes almost $300k in back taxes.The state of California has filed a $$26,812 lien against the diminutive actor in April for unpaid taxes from 2004-05. Then the IRS filed a $256,551 lien against Troyer in March 2007. His former manager told the Detroit News the issue was "being handled" - presumably not the way he handled the chick in the sex tape.

You know Verne, if you sell that sex tape and if enough freaks buy it, you might be able to pay back the government...might.

*and no I'm still not posting a picture of you because the sight of you makes me want to vomit!

Wall-E kicks Jolie's ASS!!!

The Disney/Pixar film Wall-E (isn't he cute?) opened this weekend with 62.5 million. Angelina Jolie's latest film "I can't be bothered to remember the name of it" opened at 51 million. Hey Angelina "I'm better than you" Jolie! YOU GOT SERVED!!! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA,!!!!

Go adopt an Ethopian, it'll make you feel better.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Really creepy dude still wants to get into the United States

Boy George was on the Today show and he wants to get into this country no matter how long it takes:

Despite being shut out from a U.S. tour by immigration officials, ’80s pop icon Boy George is spreading love, not anger, toward America. The controversial singer was set to start his tour with a live performance on TODAY July 7 — until he found his visa application turned down by authorities because of an impending criminal trial in London.

Still, George bears no malice, he told TODAY's Meredith Vieira in an exclusive interview via satellite. “I’m feeling very upbeat at the moment,” the singer said. “Yes, it’s disappointing because of the fans and a lot of people have bought airline tickets, so I’m disappointed for them. But if [the tour] doesn’t happen now, it will happen in the new year.”

Maybe it's just me but I not comfortable with even looking at this guy much less giving him a visa. He looks like a fat pedophile version of Lacroix from Forever Knight. Seal the boarders!

Sorry guys, Uma Thurman's off the market...again.

Uma's not going to be single much longer. Fox news reports:

Uma Thurman is engaged to her Swiss multimillionaire boyfriend, Arpad "Arki" Busson, her rep told People magazine.

"I can confirm she is engaged," Stephen Huvane said on Friday. The New York Daily News was the first to report the engagement.

The ring is an 8-plus carat center stone surrounded by 20 smaller stones, People reported.
"It's the most beautiful piece I've ever seen," a close source told the magazine of the diamond ring. "Arki did a wonderful job."

The pair began dating last summer after attending a private dinner together in Milan, according to People.

This will be the third marriage for Thurman, who has a son and daughter with Ethan Hawke, whom she divorced in 2003. Her marriage to Gary Oldman ended in 1992. Busson has two sons with supermodel Elle Macpherson, from whom he split in 2005.

On the one hand this makes me sad. On the other hand she bagged a fucking Swiss millionaire! Could have done worse. Best of luck Uma, hope the third time's a charm!

Paris Hilton has been born again.

Wow, I didn't see this one coming at all. Paris Hilton (haven't heard that name in a while) dropped an unspecified (but undoubtedly large) donation to a children's hospital. Eonline reports:

Childrens Hospital Los Angeles announced Thursday that the hotel heiress has made an "extremely generous" donation toward the construction of a new 460,000 square-foot medical tower at the downtown facility.

Hospital officials didn't specify the amount Hilton gave, but said her contribution will trick out a double-patient room in the Childrens Center for Cancer and Blood Diseases, which is slated to open in 2010.

"I am so happy and fortunate to announce my support for Childrens Hospital Los Angeles," Hilton said in a statement. "The children I have met through my [involvement] at Childrens Hospital have truly touched my heart."

The only thing left now is to pull a gun on her and ask "Who are you and what have you done with Paris Hilton!!!" but seriously, good one Paris. I really like the new you.

Verne Troyer sues TMZ.

Verne Troyer is suing TMZ.com for 20 million dollars for airing parts of his sex tape. Let me pause for a second and process that...sex tape...holy shit. Unfortunately for me I was watching TMZ last night and I saw the 20 second clip and I have to say it was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen in my life and I'm still trying to get the image out of my head. I plan on doing a great deal of theraputic heavy drinking this weekend. I love you TMZ but for God's sake people, just because something is news doesn't mean the world needs to see it. I would have been quite content to hear the story without you guys putting up the clip before I could turn away. Hell, I can't even post a normal picture of the dude because I find him so revolting. Thank you TMZ you'll be getting my therapy bills.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

An open letter to Charlie Sheen.

Dear Mr. Sheen,

I warned you, I bloody warned you that if you didn't put a stop to the psychotic super bitch ex wife of your she's just going to keep doing more and more fucked up shit and the kids are going to be the ones who suffer. So when I turn on the TV and I see Denise Richards being interviewed acting all holier-than-thou while say that the kids are in THERAPY and she glad that they have someone to listen to their problems (mothers don't do that anymore by the way) I have to fight the uncontrollable urge to kick in my set because since when to 2 AND 4 YEAR OLD CHILDREN NEED A FUCKING THERAPIST!?!?!?!...oh wait I just remembered who the woman in the middle of the picture is.

Any way, get a better lawyer and stop this bitch now before your kids turn into Charles Manson worshippers. We're all behind you.

Scarlett Johansson is delusional.

I can't help but to laugh at this one. Week or so ago I'm looking at the newspapers and Johanssons pus is splattered all over them with articles about how awesome Obama is and how she sent him an e-mail and now they're communicating all the time and how incredible it is. Turns out....it was in her own mind. Eonline reports:

Scarlett gushed about Obama—"I am engaged to Barack Obama. My heart belongs to Barack"—he handed that heart back to her on the pointy end of a 10-foot pole.

Obama says the actress sent a supportive missive to his assistant, who forwarded it to him.
"I write saying, 'Thank you, Scarlett, for doing what you do.' And suddenly we have this email relationship."

So Scarlett's bonkers. I wish I could say I'm surprised. Actually it's a bit scary that you've got that whole fatal attraction thing going on. May be time for Obama to hire some more security before you come bursting through the window screaming "I'LL MAKE YOU LOVE ME!!!

Jamie Lynn can't take it...big friggin shock there.

Jamie "why the hell didn't I get a fucking abortion" Lynn can't handle it. Didn't see that one coming a mile away. TMZ reports:

TMZ spies tell us ever since the unwed teen mother gave birth last week, she's been staying at mom Lynne's Kentwood home -- which Britney paid for -- called Serenity. We're told even though JL and baby daddy Casey Aldridge bought a home in nearby Liberty, Miss., Jamie has decided to stay with Mama Spears because she's realized it ain't so easy raising a child ... especially, when you're still one yourself.

I love what this world has come to but hey let's promote Jamie Lynn as being a brave mature young mother and make movies like Juno so all underage girls will get the firm message: It's COOL to get knocked up. Kudos to you Jamie Lynn! Why don't you make a special Zoey 101 episode? I'll even give you a hand with the title, how about: Zoey cracks under the pressure of being 17 years old with a screaming baby so she cracks under the pressure and ends up in the padded cell next to her sister. Man that's got daytime Emmy written all over it.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Ann Hathaway's ex keels over in court!

Sorry, I guess I made that title a little bit more impressive than the story actually is. Raffaello Follieri keeled over in the courtroom. Now you're probably thinking the exact same thing that I'm thinking. "Wow, must have had a heart attack when the judge told him bail was set at $21 million dollars" and you'd normally be right, but not with this dude. It turns out he had an episode from an ongoing sinus infection. A sinus infection. Dude that's just sad. I expected a great deal more from a man that could successfully pass himself off as the CFO for the Vatican. You've let me down Rafaello, you've truly let me down.

Sharon Stone wants to see her kid too.

It's all about the kiddies today in The Control Room. Sharon "karma" Stone wants to get to see more time with her son Roan (great name). She adopted him in 2000 when she was still married to Philip Bronstein who got primary custody when they divorced in 2004. She's filed with San Francisco Supreme Court for a change in primary custody and she won't get it because she's nuts but hey if Britney can get overnight visitation then anything is possible however I always thought Britney had a chance because she's nuts but she can also break down and make you feel bad for her. Sharon on the other hand always comes out as a cold bitch. I don't think Bronstein is going to have any trouble keeping this kid.

Use your kids to boost your ratings?....hmmmm.

This must be kid pimping day in The Control Room and nobody told me. That nut job Denise Richards wants her kids who are already on her reality show against Charlie's wishes to have MORE air time. She seems to think that this will boost her ratings. Not bloody likely Denise. Of course being a denizen of tinsel town means that whatever you do, no matter how questionable is actually the fault of someone else, namely Charlie. MSNBC reports:

Richards apparently thinks that Sheen set the precedent for having the kids on TV since he had daughter Sam appear on “Two and a Half Men.” She feels that Sam and Lola can only make her show more interesting to watch.

The Sheen source argues that her logic is flawed: “But Sam was only 8 months old at the time, was in a baby basket, and presented as a character for exactly 39 seconds,” the source told the magazine. Since Richards’ rep issued the standard denials, we’ll have to wait it out to see what happens.

Charlie, what the hell were you smoking when you decided that it would be a good idea to marry this fucking bitch??? You're lucky it didn't kill you cause it must have been some pretty strong stuff man. Seriously, you gotta get yourself a better lawyer cause she keeps coming out of the court smiling and then shit like this happens. You're starting to look bad here man.

It's never too early to pimp out your kid.

Ah, good old Hollywood a place of true family values. Hey! look who's on the cover of OK Magazine, it's Tori Spelling. Her daughter was born on June 9th so I guess she's old enough to pimp out. As we all know OK Magazine is notorious for paying huge bucks for baby pictures and exclusives. Can you imagine how much that bitch Jolie is going to get??? Anyway, they also have an article with her blabbering some gibberish about babies:

"She's a miracle," Spelling tells OK!. "I was on one pill and wasn't feeling well, so I went off of it. Two days later, the doctor put me on another, and on that one day, we conceived. It was meant to be!"

"My first thought was, 'My god, she's so beautiful,'" Tori gushes. "My second thought was, 'Oh my god, she has black hair! Where did that come from?' [laughs] Liam has blonde hair and is very fair. She was born with black hair, very tan."Tori continues, "I never thought I'd have a daughter. Dean's first child [Jack] is a boy and then we had Liam and I thought, 'Because I'm so girly-girly, I'll have all boys.' "

...my God I think I'm going to be sick. Oh and Tori, how girly-girly can you be with dude's face? Just wondering.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Really creepy guy not allowed into the U.S.

Boy George is not getting into the United States! Looks like our tax dollars are doing some good after all! Access Hollywood reports:

The Culture Club frontman, whose real name is George O’Dowd, had planned a U.S. tour this summer, including a free concert at the New York City Department of Sanitation’s Family Day in August. He worked for the department in 2006 while performing court-ordered community service in a drug case.

His managers said in a statement Monday that O’Dowd has been denied a visa because he’s awaiting trial in London.

Thank you Department of Homeland Defence! I'm glad to see that they got my memo on creepy perverts being classified as terrorist because clearly, they did.

Holy crap! Heather Locklear is in need of mental treatment?!?

Looks like she's got a scorching case of anxiety and depression. Wow, I don't believe it. People reports:

Heather Locklear is seeking treatment for psychological issues at an Arizona facility, her publicist confirms to PEOPLE exclusively. "Heather has been dealing with anxiety and depression. She requested an in-depth evaluation of her medication and entered into a medical facility for proper diagnosis and treatment," says Locklear's rep, Cece Yorke. "This is a confidential medical matter and no further statement will be released."

Can no one get through a career in Hollywood without getting strung out??? And what's the deal with putting EVERYBODY ON THE PLANET on a shitload of fucking meds already??? Watch they'll treat her symptoms and release her when she's zombified out on tranks. Jesus.

Ann Hathaway's ex gets arrested for fraud...didn't see that one comming.

Good thing she dropped his felonious ass last week cause her ex Raffaello got picked up by the cops and it comes in three tasty flavors! You get:

1. FEDERAL WIRE FRAUD!
2. CONSPIRACY!
3. MONEY LAUNDERING!

Jesus Ann, you really know how to pick em. But wait there's more!!! TMZ reports:

Raffaello Follieri is due in Manhattan federal court on Tuesday, accused of lying to an investor, claiming he had been appointed the chief financial officer of the Vatican. Cops say because people believed his faux Vatican connection, he was able to buy properties owned by the Catholic church in the U.S. at a way cheaper rate.

Chief financial officer of the fucking Vatican??? And people bought that??? I gotta give my man Raff credit on one thing, I never heard that one before! I think his defense in court should prove very interesting. The man's got an imagination that would have given Issac Asimov a fucking brain hemorrhage!

(photo from splashnews.com)

*UPDATE: The Feds just set his bail at whopping $21 million dollars. Although I'm sure he stole enough cash to cover that one.

Hulk Hogan gets dumped by his "charity"???

you may remember, testified on Nick's behalf at his sentencing.

Uh, yeah. Ok, but I kind of fail to see how waving towels does anything but make our country look stupid. I wanted some more clarity so I checked the National Wave website and here's what they have to say in the about us section:

The Freedom Group of America, Inc. (FGA), a 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization, was founded in Freedom, Pennsylvania. The FGA creates innovative ideas and slogans to garner money for worthy causes while at the same time creating a cause for people to come together for a common good.

Slogans??? Only Hulk Hogan could pick a group as fucking stupid as he is. Holy shit man. Crawl under a rock Hogan and take this group of hucksters with you!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Naomi Campbell is bad at making excuses.

That little firecracker Naomi Campbell is at it again. This time she has a perfectly good reason for attacking those two police officers on the airplane:

“I was called a racial name on that flight and that was part of my reaction,” she told Britain’s Sky News.

Hey Naomi, BULLSHIT!!! It's nice to have a reason AFTER you get sentenced. What's the problem? Don't like 200 hours of community service? Darn that just breaks my fucking heart! Besides it's a well known scientific fact that you will attack anything for any reason including none....diva bitch.

Tom Hanks gets thrown out of court.

Must not be Tom Hanks day. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned that an Idaho judge just tossed out Tom and wife Rita's attempt to get $2.5 million from an Idaho contractor they say screwed up the construction of their $10 million Sun Valley home back in 2002. Problem is -- they already took the contractor to arbitration in 2003 over the dispute and lost, to the tune of $10 million.The Hanks' rep Leslee Dart tells us "Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson intend to appeal the judge's decision.

This is not a petty dispute where Tom and Rita are trying to squeeze money out of a small, local contractor. There are serious design and construction problems that should never have happened, but did, and now need to be fixed."

Tom I totally understand your position but dude, you probably could have BOUGHT a new house with the money you've blown on this case. Just a tip dude. By the way loved you in Saving Private Ryan. Man that film was brutal.

No talent hack bombs at box office.

Mike Myers what can I say about him? I hate his guts. So I get a good laugh when I see a dude like this BOMB big time at the box office. Why would anyone pay to see this guy? If you've seen one of his movies you've seen all of them. This is mainly because in every film he plays the same damn character with the same damn stupid accent with the same lame toilet humor that wears out it's welcome within the first 10 minutes.

The Love Guru is more of the same and it looks like the rest of the world seems to know it. But then again you could tell that from the trailer couldn't you? The film cost 64 million to make (I know I can't believe any studio's approved of that budget) and took in a whopping 14 million on opening weekend. In other words, Get Smart kicked it's ass.

Here's to you Mike, you're a fine investment.

George Carlin dies at 71.

Carlin passed away yesterday from a heart attack. MSNBC.com reports:

George Carlin, the frenzied performer whose routine “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” led to a key Supreme Court ruling on obscenity, has died.

Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, went into St. John’s Health Center in Santa Monica on Sunday afternoon complaining of chest pain and died later that evening, said his publicist, Jeff Abraham. He had performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas. He was 71.

“He was a genius and I will miss him dearly,” Jack Burns, who was the other half of a comedy duo with Carlin in the early 1960s, told The Associated Press.

Carlin’s jokes constantly breached the accepted boundaries of comedy and language, particularly with his routine on the “Seven Words” — all of which are taboo on broadcast TV and radio to this day.
When he uttered all seven at a show in Milwaukee in 1972, he was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, freed on $150 bail and exonerated when a Wisconsin judge dismissed the case, saying it was indecent but citing free speech and the lack of any disturbance.

When the words were later played on a New York radio station, they resulted in a 1978 Supreme Court ruling upholding the government’s authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language during hours when children might be listening.

“So my name is a footnote in American legal history, which I’m perversely kind of proud of,” he told The Associated Press earlier this year.

There are quite a few things I'd like to say about what I think of this dude but I think I won't this time.

Rest in Peace.

Friday, June 20, 2008

The British don't want Martha Stuart...can't figure out why.

Martha couldn't get a visa to get into Britain. I always knew those dudes had class. TMZ reports:

The domestic goddess has been turned down for a visa to enter Britain because of her rap sheet. She was reportedly set to tour several areas of the country, as well as tour the Royal Academy of Arts in London.

Stewart spent five months in a federal prison in 2004 after she was convicted of conspiracy and lying to the Feds.Her rep told the Daily Telegraph "Martha loves England and hopes this can be resolved and that she will be able to visit soon."

There's only one way to react to news like that...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

Somebody doesn't want 50 Cent seeing his kid.

Let's make this one nice short and sweet, TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned that Shaniqua Tompkins is headed to court this morning, asking for a temporary restraining order against Fiddy. Shaniqua will allege that threats have been made against her -- and they're coming from 50's peeps.

I just see one hole in this story. You see when 50 Cent doesn't like you he BURNS YOUR FUCKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YOU IN IT!!!!...so why would he send people to threaten you? Now that's the burning (sorry) question. 50 Cent doesn't threaten, he acts.

Jamie Lynn Spears proves that people are fucking stupid.

There's just no way to deny this one people. Here's what idiots in the Spears home town are saying about the birth of the bastard child...I may interject a thought or two:

hometown of Kentwood, La., was buzzing with the news she gave birth, with friends and relatives expressing surprise (WTF where the hell have you people been!?!), relief and confidence the 17-year-old will be a good mother(SURE! SHE CAN READ HER MOTHER'S BOOK!!! WHAT COULD GO FUCKING WRONG???). "She's awfully young to be a momma," says distant cousin Margie Busby(No shit Margie you're sharp). "But that's what they make [grandmothers] for. They have to help. That's the way it is with our circle of friends."(Circle read: gang banging orgy) Second cousin Janet Bridges acknowledges, "I didn't even know she had the baby," (My God man, you're either stupid beyond all belief, blind and deaf or live in a fucking swamp and don't even know what electricity much less a TV is) but gives a thumbs up (all 10 of them) to the baby girl's name. "Ooh, I like 'Maddie,'" says Bridges (Ooh, I like fudge too!).

The birth was the talk of Kentwood (Why not nothing else ever happens there). "I'm really happy for her and her family," says Jennifer Pike (why? you support unplanned underage irresponsible pregnancy? Good for you lady!), who works at the corner store (and always will) where the Spears family often shops (shoplifts). "There will probably be some rough times and some bumpy times (some?!?), but I wish the best for her. I wish her all the luck in the world." (Gonna need it) "We're so excited for her," a family friend tells PEOPLE. "She'll be a great mom (whatever you're smoking bitch, pass some of that shit down, don't be shy dude). She'll be awesome."(now I know Adds another friend, "She was so excited about having this child. She was looking forward to it so much." The days have passed slowly for Spears and fiancé Casey Aldridge, who had finished preparing for the baby a few weeks ago. "It seemed like this day would never come," (rephrase buddy " we PRAYED this day would never come) says a cousin of Aldridge. "They've been getting ready, but everything was pretty much done by last month. So they just had to wait."

Now that Maddie Briann (that is a stupid name) is here, family members hope that Spears and Aldridge are good parents (why not most teenagers are experienced enough to know what they're doing). "It's easy to have them, but hard to raise them,"(have fun kids and just wait until that little bundle of joy reached the your age, I know parents that could write VOLUMES on that subject!) says relative Charlie Spears. "I hope she's healthy, and I hope they raise a good baby." (don't bet on it)

Naomi Campbell pleads guilty to beating the shit out of people.

Given her record I don't think she could have denied this one if she tried....and she didn't try. E Online reports:

The trouble-prone catwalker pleaded guilty today to assaulting two police officers after causing a stink aboard a BA flight at London's Heathrow Airport in April, charges that could land her serious jail time.

Sporting shades and a dark suit and flanked by a guardian, the 38-year-old Campbell arrived at Uxbridge Magistrates Court in a chauffeur-driven Mercedes and pushed her way through hordes of paparazzi and press without addressing their questions.

Will Naomi get serious jail time? Normally I'd be laughing at that statement but after what happened to Wesley Snipes and Paris, I'm not so sure anymore. Stay tuned.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Charlie Sheen can't pick the right insult.

Sometimes the things you say come back to haunt you. Three years later...by your psychotic ex-wife...who recorded you...and claims to have no idea how the tape got leaked. Access Hollywood reports:

Charlie Sheen has apologized for using a racial slur in a voicemail to Denise Richards.
Messages from an angry Sheen to Richards started surfacing on the Internet earlier this week.
In one of the messages, dated April 19, 2005, the “Two and A Half Men” star can be heard ending a call by referring to his ex in a host of aspersions including the “c” word and the “n” word.

Sheen quickly responded to the leaked voicemails, apologizing for using such language.
“I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings,” Sheen said in a statement obtained by Access Hollywood.

“And for the record, my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation,” Sheen’s statement continued. “So three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis.”
In an interview with Denise Richards, set to air on “The Billy Bush Show” Wednesday evening, the actress said she only recently learned the calls had been leaked.

“I got several calls from my publicist who told me about it,” she said in a new interview with Billy. “Those are actually files with the court [from] two years ago… There are transcripts that were public record two years ago. I don’t know how an actual tape got out. I actually haven’t heard it since I was told about it, so I don’t know.”

Got some bad news for you Charlie, if she's got more tapes like that one expect them to magically pop up whenever she wants to throw a hissy fit. Although I have no idea what you were thinking when you used the "N" word on her if it makes you feel any better I'm totally with you on the "C" word thing...cause she totally fucking is.

oh great...another Spears.

It looks like America's most beloved unwed pregnant girl popped out the kid finally. MSNBC.com reports:

Jamie Lynn Spears has given birth to a baby girl, according to People.com. The Web site is also reporting that the child, born at 9:30 a.m. Central time on Thursday, is named Maddie Briann.
The National Enquirer reported that Maddie was 6 pounds, 10 ounces, and was born in a hospital in Mississippi, not far from Jamie Lynn's Kentwood, La., home.

Spears, the 17-year-old little sister of pop star Britney Spears, has been living in Kentwood since December, retreating to her hometown shortly after announcing her pregnancy.

I have great hopes for the future for this baby being surrounded by such fine role models. I predict she will be pregnant herself by just after her 13th birthday, be a mental case by 14 and then by 15 write a book on what a fine job she's going to be doing as a mother. This could very well be the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it.

Ali Lohan may star in a movie.

>I can see where this day is going already. Apparently Ali Lohan is the top choice to star in the remake of the 1986 movie Troll. Eonline reports:

Lindsay's little sister auditioned last week for the role of the young Eunice St. Clair, who helps Harry Potter Jr. (no relation whatsoever to J.K. Rowling's gazillion-dollar creation of the same name) fight the evil Torok the Troll.

"She was great," Buechler tells me. "The camera loves her. She's a really good actress...I am personally going to fight for her."

Buechler says the $25 million remake is being financed independently: "It's a retelling of the original story with some twists."

The original featured Sonny Bono, June Lockhart and marked the feature-film debut of Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

That was a great movie why fuck it up with a Lohan? Of course I've never seen a remake that was as good as the original and if Ali turns out to get the part that will be the final nail in the coffin for me. I won't need to see it to know that it will suck and I sure as hell don't want to see these "twists" in the plot that they're talking about.

Wesley Snipes problems just got a whole lot worse.

I understand that the IRS took Snipes to court and I understand that they convicted him for not filing tax returns but what I don't believe is that they're sending him a fucking BILL for prosecuting him! The Orlando Sentinel reports:

The government recently sent a "cost of prosecution" bill to the judge in the case. The Orlando-born actor was convicted on three misdemeanor counts of failing to file a federal tax return for the years 1999, 2000 and 2001 and sentenced in April to 36 months in federal prison. He remains free while his case is on appeal. His attorneys object to many of the fees the government is seeking.$193,716.98 for scanning, printing and numbering documents

Holy living fuck that's cold! Man, celebrity justice really failed Wesley on this one! And I always thought Paris was the one who got the book thrown at her, damn.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Johnny Depp is still the coolest man on earth.

I don't know exactly what makes Johnny Depp so awesome. Oh, wait I do, it's things like this, OK Magazine repots:

The Oscar-nominated star gave 12-year-old Jack Taylor a present he will never forget when sent the boy a fedora he wore while filming Public Enemies in Jack's Wisconsin hometown. Jack fell in love with the hat when he spotted Johnny on set in April -- so much so that he asked the actor if he could have it.Johnny said he could once filming wrapped, and lo and behold, sent the fedora Jack's way last week, The Northwestern reports. And he's not the only one who got a present. Making sure none of Jack's four siblings felt slighted, the 45-year-old sent them gear from his 2005 hit Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Attached was a personal note telling the kids to enjoy the gifts.For his part, Jack is currently penning a thank-you note for Johnny.

Wow, he keeps his word and is not a typical Hollywood scumbag. This could be the start of a revolution....nah.

Angelina Jolie is still better than you...and still trying to take over the world.

Ok, the stuck up bitch hasn't even given birth to her unwanted spawn and she's already planning on adopting another one. How many does this fucking make already??? OK Magazine reports:

Even though Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are about to welcome their twin girls into the world at any moment now, OK! has learned that's not stopping them from making plans to add yet another child to their "soccer team" of a family — a baby boy from Ethiopia."Angie and Brad have wanted an African boy for the last couple of years," an insider tells OK!. "They were initially going to have that adoption follow the addition of Pax last year, but that all changed when Angie got pregnant with twins last fall."

I'm also 100% convinced that she's planning some kind of global domination plot. Something similar to "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" if I'm not mistaken. She's going to replace them all with Bradjolina's. We should handle this as if it were a full blown zombie invasion. So let's get some molotov cocktails and some shotguns and head on out to California before they get to us!

Ann Hathaway decides to get the fuck out of Dodge.

Ann Hathaway broke up with her boyfriend Raffaello Follieri over the weekend. I can't say I'm surprised. People.com reports:

The longtime couple are "for now, not together," says a source close to Hathaway, 25. (The actress's rep declined to comment.) Adds the source: "They are always breaking up and getting back together, so the fact that they broke up this time around doesn't strike me as anything new. They are passionate people – and just like any relationship, people get together, break up and get back together again. This breakup is one in a long line of previous breakups, so I don't think it's anything significant." It has been an especially rocky few months for Follieri, 29, who is under investigation by the New York State Attorney General's office, which has no record of IRS tax disclosure forms necessary for his charitable Follieri Foundation. Last month, the Manhattan District Attorney's office declined to prosecute Follieri after his arrest in April for allegedly writing a $215,000 bad check. "They dated for four years," says a source close to Follieri. "He loves her. He cares deeply for her. It's a shame."

C'mon Ann, stand by your man! Nothing says "I love you" like spending your spare time shredding incriminating evidence!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Billy Ray Cyrus is still trying to talk himself out of a jam.

Billy Ray Cyrus is still trying to weasel his way out that whole Vanity Fair photo shoot debacle. Access Hollywood reports:

Setting the record straight, Billy Ray Cyrus once again confirmed he was not around when his daughter, Miley, posed provocatively for Vanity Fair and famed photographer Annie Leibovitz.
During a new interview with Access Hollywood on Tuesday, Billy Ray said he was not on the set when his 15-year-old daughter wrapped herself in a blanket for the now infamous shots.
“I wasn’t there when they took the controversial photograph,” Billy Ray told Access. “I took my picture with Miley and then had to go catch a flight, so I wasn’t there.”

Am I the only one out there that doesn't think that his version has quite the ring of truth to it? You knew Billy, you knew. And get a life of your own you one hit wonder.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Hulk Hogan is so detached from reality it makes me want to vomit.

Just when I think this jerkoff can't get any worse he goes that extra mile. Father of year was on Larry King last night and said the following about his son's crash victim John Graziano:

Hulk said he felt Nick's accident, which put friend John Graziano in a vegetative state, was God's plan to make John a better person.

Do I really need to go any further than that. Holy crap man, is anyone in that family capable to taking any responsibility??? Let me make sure I'm keeping score according to both Nick and Hulk this accident was the fault of:

1. The other driver.
2. John Graziano (for being in the car).
3. John Graziano (for not wearing a seat belt).
4. God.

Am I leaving anyone out???

...oh and by the way he called Nick's drag racing "precision driving"...stupid fuck.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Clint Eastwood doesn't put up with Spike Lee's shit.

Old Spiko wants to rewrite history by criticising Clint Eastwood's film about Iwo Jima. Spike wanted more black dudes who werent there. Clint doesn't put up with that revisionist crap. Access Hollywood reports:

LOS ANGELES, Calif. --
Spike Lee has hit back at Clint Eastwood’s recent suggestion to “shut his face,” by claiming the Oscar winner sounds like “an angry old man.”
“First of all, the man is not my father and we’re n

ot on a plantation either,” he told ABCNews.com. “He’s a great director. He makes his films, I make my films. The thing about it though, I didn’t personally attack him. And a comment like ‘a guy like that should shut his face’ — come on Clint, come on. He sounds like an angry old man right there.”

Lee seemed to start what has now become a public exchange of criticism in May at the Cannes Film Festival, by calling out Eastwood for his lack of black faces in his two World War II films — “Flags of our Fathers” and “Letters from Iwo Jima.”

“He did two films about Iwo Jima back to back and there was not one black soldier in both of those films,” Lee told reporters last month. “Many veterans, African Americans, who survived that war are upset at Clint Eastwood. In his vision of Iwo Jima, Negro soldiers did not exist. Simple as that. I have a different version.”

On Friday, Eastwood’s response ran in UK newspaper The Guardian. The veteran actor and director claimed Lee was not up on his facts when he made the comments
Eastwood said there were black troops in Iwo Jima, “but they didn’t raise the flag. The story is ‘Flags of Our Fathers,’ the famous flag-raising picture, and they didn’t do that.”
“If I go ahead and put an African American actor in there, people’d go, ‘This guy’s lost his mind.’ I mean, it’s not accurate,” Eastwood added.

I'm with Clint on this one and frankly somebody needs to tell Spike Lee to shut the fuck up. Ok, I'll do it...Spike, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Dear Lindsay...

YOU'RE NOT A LESBIAN!!! STOP MAKING AN IDIOT OF YOURSELF BY PULLING STUNTS LIKE THIS IN A PATHETICALLY OBIVIOUS ATTEMPT TO SALVAGE YOUR DEAD CAREER! IT'S NOT WORKING!!!

...stupid.

K-Fed is father of the year!

Voted father of the year by a club in Vegas what better endorsement could you ask for? People reports:

Sources tell PEOPLE he will be awarded the title during a presentation at the club. The unofficial honor is Federline's second such recognition in a relatively short time. Last November, Details magazine also anointed him father of the year – an honor he shared with onetime Anna Nicole Smith boyfriend Larry Birkhead.

Of course considering that his ex-wife is Britney and he was up against Larry Birkhead I guess I can see how they chose him.

Candy Spelling makes me want to vomit.

Just what she needed MORE CASH! TMZ reports:

TMZ Vegas spies tell us over the weekend, Candy Dandy was playing the high limit slots (up to $1,000 a pull) at the Bellagio Hotel when she cleaned the clock of a one-armed bandit to the tune of $180,000. To put this in perspective, $180 grand to her is like $8 bucks in our world.So you think lightning only strikes once? Exactly one year ago in Vegas, Candy -- whose fortune is estimated at $600 mil -- won $200,000 at -- yes, the Bellagio. And yes, on the slots. She was actually up $350,000 at one point but couldn't walk away.

Why G-d WHY????

Monday, June 2, 2008

Ted Kennedy is more important than you!

As we all know Ted Kennedy has brain cancer and now he's got the finest doctors in the country working on his surgery. Big shock there. MSNBC.com reports.

Kennedy said he selected a team of neuro-oncologists from Boston’s Massachusetts General Hospital and Duke University Medical Center.

The hospital at Duke is on the north side of the campus of the elite private college in Durham, about 30 minutes west of the state capital in Raleigh. The brain tumor research center at Duke is conducting several clinical trials in malignant glioma.

Aside from several television trucks parked outside, there was little sign that a notable patient was inside.

Friedman is “one of the thought leaders” and a giant in the field of neuro-oncology, said Dr. Otis Brawley, chief medical officer of the American Cancer Society, speaking from Chicago, where more than 30,000 cancer specialists are attending an American Society of Clinical Oncology conference.

Friedman is chief of the division of neurosurgery in the surgical department at Duke and also co-director of the neuro-oncology department there. His clinical interests are brain tumors, skull-based tumors, peripheral nerve surgery, pituitary tumors and cerebrovascular disaster, according to his resume on the medical center’s Web site.

After his treatment, Kennedy said, “I look forward to returning to the United States Senate and to doing everything I can to help elect Barack Obama as our next president.” Kennedy has endorsed Obama, the front-runner for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Kennedy was hospitalized May 17 at Massachusetts General Hospital after undergoing a seizure at his home on Cape Cod. Doctors later announced that he had a malignant glioma in his left parietal lobe, a brain region that governs sensation but also plays some role in movement and language. A malignant glioma is one of the worst kinds of brain cancer, and malignant gliomas are diagnosed in about 9,000 Americans a year.

Maybe I'm just in a bad mood today but you got to love the way that the dude who invented "scuba driving" is getting such top notch care. Of all the people in the United States who have brain cancer this guy gets the best doctors to try to save his live. Are you fucking kidding me???? You know Ted, if there is an afterlife there's a woman out there at the bottom of a lake who got cheated out of her life who I'm sure would love to talk to you.

Clooney's ex wastes no time being a whore.

Now that Sarah Larson has lost the Cloon she's gone back to what she does best. Being a slut. TMZ reports:

Sarah Larson was red-hot on the town, "dancing seductively" as Vegas Confidential reports, for an ex-boyfriend (not George) at grand opening of Palms Place Hotel and Spa Saturday night. It was the first time she'd been out in public since splitting from Clooney.

I'm sure she'll find something special...or at least a free clinic.